


Alexithymia

by Copper_Nugget



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abused Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Anxious Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Background Dr. Emile Picani, Background Morality | Patton Sanders, Background Thomas Sanders, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders In Love, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Good Friend, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders Is A Good Friend, M/M, Manipulative Deceit Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Good Friend, Protective Morality | Patton Sanders, Unsympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Unsympathetic Deceit Sanders, virgil is a sad boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23578402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Copper_Nugget/pseuds/Copper_Nugget
Summary: Virgil had never had the best of luck, but when he finds himself in an apartment with three strangers, things start changing for him.Virgil works through emotional issues to find who he is as a person apart from who he was raised as
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 40
Kudos: 225





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers!  
> This is my first time writing a fic, so I hope you like it. I made the mistake of writing it in present tense instead of past tense, I edited and tried to catch every place I accidentally switched, but I may not have caught everything so sorry in advance for that.  
> There will be a lot of trigger warnings for this fic so please read this section EVERY TIME!!!  
> Trigger Warnings for this chapter:  
> Panic attacks, mentions of mental and physical abuse, running away, self-deprecating thoughts, cuss words

Virgil slammed the door behind him, body shaking and knees weak, not noticing the tears as he bolted down the street with just a backpack in tow. Today was his 18th birthday. Today was the day he was finally free.

  
After running for what seemed like forever, but in reality, was less than five minutes, Virgil collapsed in an alleyway behind a dumpster, heart racing and breathing fast.

  
Virgil had never had the best luck, but when his dad, D, got in a car accident when he was 5, permanently scarring half his face, things were never the same. D became overbearing and overprotective, often turning to manipulation and lies to get Virgil to do what he thought was best. But when D wasn’t there, like when he went to work during the day, things were much worse. Virgil was always home all day because D had somehow gotten him to agree to online school because “buses are dangerous and you’ll die your first day if you ride one of those” and, “you really don’t want to have to deal with socialization, right?”. So when D was gone, he was left with his horrible roommate, Remus.

  
If you were being nice, you’d call Remus creative, but Virgil had long given up on being nice when it came to Remus. Virgil didn't know if he was actually mentally ill or what, but this man was absolutely insane, coming up with the craziest ideas that he never had the slightest problem testing on Virgil. From the edibility of deodorant to seeing what would happen when he jumped out of a moving car, Virgil had been through it all.

  
But he was 18 now, he was finally free… with no place to go.

  
He knew everything that happened to him in that house was his fault. If he was smarter D could trust him with the truth and being safe and making good choices on his own. And if he was less of a gullible idiot he wouldn’t have fallen for his dad’s tricks in the first place. And if he wasn’t so weak-willed he never would have let Remus use him as his guinea pig. But this was his chance to finally get out of this loop, to free himself from the mess he had created from being such a stupid, weak-willed and gullible kid, and he was screwing it up. He should be running, but instead, he was hyperventilating behind a dumpster.

  
After what could have been seconds or hours, Virgil had no clue, his breathing began to slow. He got to his feet shakily and began to walk, cause he knew running wouldn’t help his breathing or heart rate, but he had to move.

  
He made it to the train station and bought a ticket for the soonest leaving train, using almost all the cash on him, but he had to get as far as possible. The train was going to Gainesville Florida. It wouldn’t arrive for another hour though, so Virgil put on his headphones and blared the music, trying not to think about what he was doing, and how stupid he truly was.

An hour later, Virgil was getting comfortable in his tiny third class seat, squeezed next to two other people. They were talking to each other animatedly. One seemed annoyed when the other made a dad joke (not the Virgil had ever heard one from his dad, he didn't know why they were called dad jokes if dads didn't even use them), but then his expression broke into a smile when the other teased him. Thankfully they ignored him because social interaction was about the last thing Virgil wanted right now. He looked at the map and saw they had a 3-hour ride, so he put his headphones back on and fell asleep.

  
He dreamt of all the horrible experiments Remus had wanted to do involving trains.

He woke with a start as the train whistle blew, announcing their arrival. Virgil allowed himself a sigh of relief. He was out. He was free. How he just had to find a nice street corner to spend the night on, and then make a plan for tomorrow.

  
His thoughts began spinning, what was going to happen tomorrow, or in two weeks, or two years? Virgil realized he had no idea.

  
He felt an attack coming on before he realized what he was doing to himself. What was wrong with him? Why would he go down that thought spiral he knew this would happen? His dad used to talk him through these and in the end they always came to the same conclusion, the root of the problem was himself. He let himself go down this thought spiral, his fault.

  
He came out of his head to realize what was happening in his body. His heart was racing and he couldn't breathe. Damn it this wasn’t just a little attack like earlier this was a FULL anxiety attack. Damn it, Virgil, what is wrong with you. Look at all these people looking at you. You’re causing a disruption you little piece of shi-

  
“Hey Kiddo, you okay” He recognized that voice, it was the guy who cracked a dad joke earlier. Great now he had this perfectly nice person worried, why do you always do this Virgi-

  
“Patton, I believe he is having an anxiety attack” another voice, Virgil doesn’t recognize this one, but it is coming from right next to him. Why are you such a nuisance, Virgil? Shit, still can't breathe, don't deserve to breath- “either that or an asthma attack” the voice continues “but he does not seem to have an inhaler with him and he was not doing anything exerting in the last 3 hours, so that seems an unlikely possibility.”

  
“So what do we do Logan?”

  
Horrible person

Can’t breath

Nuisance

Can’t Breath

WorThLess

CAn't BrEatH

USELESS

CAN’T BREATH

Suddenly, a hand appears on his back. Virgil flinches away on instinct, expecting nails to claw into his skin or some disgusting substance to spill onto his shirt. The hand hesitates, but after some whispers it reappears, slowly, gently. Circles move slowly across his back as the hand traces, and after a few moments, Virgil finds his breathing following them. After a few more minutes, his breathing has returned to normal, although he is still shaking horribly.

  
The hand disappears, and he feels the seat shift. He hears an urgent objection and the seat shifts once more. After a few moments of urgent whispers, a hand gently appears in his shaking palm. Lost in his own thoughts, Virgil barely notices as a man by the name of Patton pulls him out of his seat and leads him off the train, a man named Logan trailing behind, carrying Virgil's only belongings, stuffed haphazardly into a worn black backpack.

Virgil wakes up in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room. The light is off, but from the sunlight coming in through the window (It appears to be morning, he must have slept here all night), but he can tell it is brightly colored. The walls appear to be a pale blue, and he appears to be covered in a bright quilt made of a patchwork of images of friends standing happily at theme parks, on the beach, at cafes, and anywhere else you can think of friends standing happily. He doesn’t recognize any of the people on the quilt.  
Virgil jumps to his feet suddenly, grabbing his backpack and moving as quickly as he can, trying to come up with a plan. What if he has been kidnapped, or-

  
His thoughts are cut short by voices outside the door. They are arguing.

  
“What do you want us to do, send him off on his own, that kid isn’t old enough to handle whatever is going on with him on his own, we have to help him,” the first voice says

  
“But we can't help everyone, we barely have enough space in this apartment for the three of us!” says a second voice

  
A third voice cuts in “We have adequate space for four if you just shared your bathroom”

  
“I cannot share that bathroom” The second voice again “I need the space to beautify myself in the morning. Believe it or not, a prince doesn’t just wake up looking like this”  
Confused and scared, Virgil stops listening and tries again to develop a plan. He looks around frantically until his eyes land on something, the window. He doesn’t know where he is, but if he is on a lower floor he could get out that way.

  
He begins moving toward the window slowly, aware that there are three unknown people right outside the door. He is almost there, and lets up his guard for the final step… CREEK. Shit, a creaky floorboard. He freezes. The voices outside the door go silent. A knock, then the first voice:

  
“You awake in there kiddo?”

  
Fight or flight goes back and forth in Virgil’s mind as he stands there, frozen by the window. He glances out. Damn it. He is on at least the 5th floor of whatever building he is in, but he’d never survive that fall, plus he is scared of falling. He gulps as he pushes away from the window. He is NOT scared of heights he tells himself as he backs away, just falling.

  
The back of Virgil’s knees hit the bed and he collapses onto it as the bed groans under him loudly. Seriously, he can't seem to get a break here.

  
“I’m coming in, okay kiddo,” The voice says as the door slowly creaks open. Virgil curls into himself instinctively, as if somehow if he makes himself small enough he won’t be seen. The stranger takes in the scene in front of him. An 18-year-old boy with a worn black backpack on, curled into a ball on a bed, glaring at him from across the room. Virgil examines the person before him, wondering how hard he would be to take down in a fight. He is average height, maybe 5’9” ish. Virgil probably has a good 5 inches on him. He is of average build and wears a blue polo with a grey sweater tied around his neck (strange fashion statement, but Virgil chooses not to linger on that). The stranger has brown hair and chocolate brown eyes and glasses and overall looks...nice. Virgil couldn't imagine this man hurting a soul. This thought is confirmed when the stranger breaks into a room brightening smile.

  
“How ya feeling kiddo?” the stranger asks. “You’ve been asleep for a while, had us all worried”

  
Worried? Why were his kidnappers worried? Why were they nice? Virgil is so confused and decides not to reply.

  
“It’s okay if you don't wanna talk to me kiddo, we just need to know some stuff about you so we can help you get what you need. How about to make you feel more comfortable, I share some information about myself first,” when Virgil doesn’t reply, the stranger continues,

  
“My name is Patton and I live in this apartment in Gainesville Florida. I live with my two friends and roommates, Logan and Roman. Logan and I were on our way back from a trip when we sat next to you on the train. You had an anxiety attack, and Logan got you to breath but you still seemed pretty upset, so we brought you here to make sure you were safe. I love to bake and plan to start my own bakery in the future. Also, my favorite color is blue. Logan is really smart and he is probably gonna do something really cool like stop global warming or something. And Roman is a huge romantic. When he falls in love, well I just can’t wait to see it. We are all 18, well Logan is 19, and we are all starting at the same college in a few weeks, although technically Logan has already been here for a year. So, now tell me a little about you. Let’s start simple, what is your name?”

  
Virgil doesn't answer, he doesn't think he could. How does he know this guy isn’t making all this up to get him to open up so he could do something bad with the information, so he can hurt him. Just then, another stranger appears in the doorway.

  
“Hello. My name is Logan. I noticed you seem to not want to speak to Patton. I do not know why, but I thought you may find writing easier.” Logan steps into the room and hands Virgil a notebook. He is wearing a button-up shirt and tie. He has brown hair and Virgil thinks his eyes are brown, but they are so dark he would almost consider them black. Logan also wears glasses Virgil notices, as he adjusts them to get a better look at Virgil. “Could you please just tell us your name? We don't need your full name, just your first name so we have something to call you.” Logan requests

  
Virgil ponders this for a moment but finally decides that they can't do any harm with just his first name. Well, any harm other than teasing him. He writes his name on the notepad and hands it back to Logan.

  
Logan nods. “Okay Virgil, now, could you tell us where we should take you. Do you have a home anywhere or family we can call-” Logan cuts off when he sees Virgil shaking his head frantically at the thought of calling his family.

  
“Okay, we are getting somewhere,” Logan says. “How about I just ask yes or no questions, so all you have to do is nod or shake your head?”

  
Virgil hesitates once more but finally decides that if they are being this nice they probably most likely are not intending to put him through some sort of horrible torture or whatever kidnappers do. Virgil nods.

  
“Great. Let us get started. Do you live in Gainesville Florida?”

  
No

  
“Are you here with anyone else”

  
No

  
“Does anyone know you are here”

  
No

“Do we need to call anyone to take you to wherever you do live”

  
Frantic no

  
Logan looks like he is piecing it together now as his next question hits right on point “are you running away”

  
Hesitation, then small nod, yes

  
“Can you write down how old you are?” Logan asks “And please don’t lie. Even if you are not a legal adult we will not send you back to any home that is unsafe.”

  
Virgil nods and writes on the notepad, 18.

  
Logan nods thoughtfully “Virgil, did people in your home ever try to hurt you, physically”

  
Small nod

  
“I appreciate your honesty here Virgil. I have one more question. It is not a yes or no question, so you’re gonna either have to speak or write, but I must ask for us to be of optimal assistance to you. What was your plan?”

  
Virgil chooses to write, he doesn’t think he can say it out loud, it makes it too real. “I didn't have one past escape. I took the first train out of town, and was gonna take it from there.”

  
Logan reads this, his expression staying neutral. “Thank you, Virgil. Patton and I are going to give you a break now. We will be back with some food shortly.”

  
And with that, Patton and Logan leave, closing the door behind, leaving Virgil to wonder once more what tomorrow will look like.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you to everyone who is back!  
> Trigger warnings for this chapter:   
> unsympathetic Remus, nightmare, abuse descriptions, self-deprecating thoughts, cussing, panic attack, description of self-harm

Logan and Patton head to the kitchen to get Virgil some food, and they find Roman with a box of lucky charms, removing all of the marshmallows and putting them into a bowl. 

Logan opens his mouth to say something, but Patton places a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

“Not the fight to pick Logan. Not when we are about to try and get him to share his bathroom” Patton whispers. 

“I don't see how this cereal has anything to do with-” Logan starts

“Just trust me, Lo. You will SEEreal how far it’ll get us” Patton chuckles quietly to himself as Logan groans. They hadn’t needed to discuss it, after leaving Virgil in the room Patton had turned to Logan, ready to put on the puppy eyes and begging, but he didn't even get that far as Logan nodded, and that was that.

But before they start trying to convince Roman, they have to get the poor boy some food. He looked so thin, Patton thought he looked like he hadn’t eaten a real meal in a long time. 

Patton gets right to work, mixing up the batter for pancakes while Logan works on the bacon and eggs. Everyone likes breakfast foods, so it seems like a safe bet that Virgil will. Roman studiously ignores them as they work, continuing to remove his marshmallows as if his roommates make a mess of their kitchen. 

Patton is just starting to make his way towards the room, a plate piled with food in his hand, when he hears a loud THUMP from the room. He looks at Logan in a panic, and he sets down the food to run to the room. 

Virgil has fallen asleep again, such an idiot. Why would he let himself fall asleep in a stranger’s house, what is wrong with him!?

What makes it worse though is that he had another nightmare. He suddenly finds himself back in time, Remus speeding a stolen car down the street, Virgil in the passenger seat.

_ “Come on bud, it’ll be fun! Everyone wants to know what happens when you jump out of a car, I’m sure you’re no different. Come on, just do it!” Remus said gleefully from the driver’s seat as the car continued to accelerate _

_ Virgil opened the door slowly. Maybe if he does this, Remus will finally stop. Maybe this is where Remus will draw the line. He looked at the ground speeding by below him and gulped in fear. He couldn't do this. He was scared. _

_ “Come on Virgil. Do it or I’ll find myself another subject” Remus says, seeing Virgil’s hesitation. _

_ Remus knew just how to get to him. He couldn't let Remus do this to anyone else, which meant he had to jump. Virgil gulped and took a deep breath, then without letting himself think about it anymore, he jumped. _

Virgil wakes with a start as his right shoulder hits something hard. He looks around in confusion before remembering where he is. He doesn’t know how he ended up on the floor, but judging by the pain in his shoulder he fell out of bed and that is what woke him up.

He hears the door open, and footsteps quickly moving toward him. He moves quickly, without thinking until he is backed into the corner of the room. 

It is the same two people as earlier, Logan and Patton. They look worried. Well, Patton looks worried, Logan looks thoughtful.

“Are you okay kiddo? We heard a loud noise, what happened?” Virgil doesn’t reply, he just hugs his knees closer to his chest, pressing his back against the corner so hard it hurts, but he doesn’t care, the cool pressure of the wall is steadying.

“Patton, I believe he fell off the bed, considering the sheets half off the bed and where he was laying when we got in here.” Logan turns back to Virgil “Are you injured” He asks

Virgil shakes his head no. The pain in his shoulder is already fading, it may bruise but that hardly counts as an injury. 

“Good. Patton and I made you some pancakes, bacon, and eggs. We will be back with them in a moment” Logan says. Patton had stepped back while Logan was talking, aware that he was making Virgil feel cornered. When Logan turns to leave and looks at Patton to follow, Patton shakes his head. He wants to stay. He wants to help. So Logan leaves to get the food without Patton, walking slowly to give them some alone time. This is something he never would have thought to do before meeting Patton. Patton had taught Logan a lot.

“Kiddo, what can I do,” Patton asks quietly back in the room.

Virgil shrugs. After a few moments, Patton makes out a murmur, almost too quiet to understand “it was my fault.” Virgil doesn’t know why he says it, but something about Patton just makes him feel safe. He regrets saying it immediately. 

“What was,” Patton asks quietly.

“Nothing” Virgil murmurs. He can't share his feelings with anyone. Then he will get attached and they will do something horrible. They will twist what he says. He has learned the hard way that you can’t trust anyone, including himself. He may do something horrible, I mean he was practically raised by Remus, of course he’ll do something horrible.

Patton nods knowingly. He may not be Logan, but he knows enough to figure out that this kid blames himself for what was done for him. He wants to say something to comfort him, but just then Logan arrives with the food. Patton scootches out of the way to allow Logan to get to Virgil. 

Virgil nods thanks as he takes the food. The two men leave the room, and Vigil is alone again. He eats a few bites, noticing that the pancakes are shaped like cats and the eggs are shaped like fish, before putting the plate down and grabbing his bag. He has to get out of here before he gets hurt by these people, or worse before he becomes like Remus and hurts them.

Virgil grabs his backpack and walks toward the door now that the window is out of the question. He opens the door a crack and peeks out. To the left is a short hallway, with one more door on his left, a door across from him, then a door across from the one on his left. To his right is an open room. On the side of the room farthest from him is a television that seems to be playing a Disney movie, and a person he doesn’t recognize sitting on a couch facing it. On the side closest to him is a small kitchen with a table and chairs where one might put a kitchen island. There is just enough space to cook. Then he sees what he is looking for. The exit, right in the middle of those two areas. He just has to get through the open space and out the door and he would be out.

No one other than the stranger appears to be in the area, and he seems thoroughly invested in his movie, so Virgil quietly begins making his way through the room, quietly closing the door behind him. He is about halfway through the space when the stranger speaks. The stranger hadn’t moved an inch, but somehow he knew Virgil was there.

“What do you think you are doing?” The stranger asks, not even bothering to turn and look at him.

There is no point in lying at this point, so he just tells the truth “Leaving”.

“Awesome” The stranger replies “I really didn't want to share my bathroom with some emo off the streets. Although Patton and Logan will be disappointed.”

The stranger finally turns to look at him “And sadly, I like my friends, so I must ask, Why are you leaving and where are you going?”

“I’m leaving because I want to, and where I am going is none of your business.” Virgil snaps back. He mentally scolds himself for his tone, hunching his shoulders slightly more than before, which he didn't know was possible. He is just gonna turn into D and Remus, he knows it, and this snapping is the start. 

The stranger studies him for a moment, then shrugs, turning back to his movie “Fine, do whatever you want. At least I can say I tried.”

Virgil doesn't think what this stranger did really counted as trying, but he decides not to dwell on it, instead heading to the door when he hears a new voice behind him,

“Virgil?” The voice is Logan’s. Shit. Of course, the stranger knew what he was doing, he was just stalling Virgil, he is such an idiot why does he always fall for that crap! “I thought I heard voices out here, where are you going.”

“He is going to be emo and depressing somewhere else.” The stranger remarks before giving Virgil a chance to reply “And I can't say I object.”

“Roman,” Logan says with a look at the stranger, who is apparently named Roman “You mustn’t speak to our guest like that.”

Roman signs and gets up, and Virgil gets his first good look at him. He is wearing a crisp white shirt with a red leather jacket. The shirt appears to have small glittery golden crowns across the bottom. The man has perfectly styled hair and sparkling blue eyes. He is as tall as Virgil, which Virgil is shocked by, not many people are that tall. He is beautiful, but he is also a jerk. Roman holds out a hand and says “My apologies. I am Roman Prince, you may refer to me as ‘Your Majesty’ if you prefer.”

“Yeah right Princey” Virgil snaps back, ignoring the hand. Roman glares at him then looks at Logan.

“Well, I tried, good luck with  _ that _ ” he snaps before turning on his heel and storming to the door across from where Virgil had been. That must be his room. The door slams with a loud THUD, and Roman is gone.

“Well then,” Logan says, calmly adjusting his glasses “That was not ideal. Patton and I will have to talk to him.” 

“There is really no need” Virgil quickly interjects. “I’ll just get out of your way.”

“Nonsense” Logan responds, “Clearly you need help, and we are going to give it to you. Now, Patton and I have been discussing and we believe it would be best for you to stay here for a while, so you are going to have the spare room. I will be right across the hall, and Patton will be in the room you were just in if you need anything. And if you need to use the restroom, I recommend using mine and Pattons for the time being, as Roman can be very protective of his beauty products…”

Logan continues talking and leading Virgil down the hall but Vigil isn’t paying attention. Him, staying here? Roman clearly doesn’t want him here and soon Patton and Logan will agree, he is just gonna make a mess of things. Gods, what has he gotten himself into-

He is jerked out of his thoughts by the sound of a door opening. Logan is opening the room at the end of the hall, on the opposite side of the room he was previously in. The room is mostly empty except for a bed and a nightstand. On the right side of the room is a door, which he assumes leads to Roman’s bathroom. The bed is against the left wall, with the nightstand on the far side near the window. His examination of the room is interrupted by Logan 

“Do you have a change of clothes?” Logan asks, looking critically at his torn black hoodie, purple t-shirt, black jeans, and black headphones. Virgil shakes his head no but quickly interrupts when Logan begins to speak again

“But I don't need anything, really,” Virgil moves further into the room and sets his dirty backpack on the floor. I’ll be out of your guys’ hair by tomorrow” He murmurs as he lays down. He hadn’t realized how tired he was. All the emotions and thoughts going through his mind really wore him out. He thinks he hears Logan say something like “Stay as long as you need”, but he is already asleep.

Virgil wakes up the next evening to see bags of clothes at the foot of his bed. He doesn’t know how they figured out his size and style (Well, he knows how they figured out his style, but he isn’t about to admit how emo he is), but all the clothes are great. There are a couple of pairs of black jeans, some plain T-shirts in black along with some dark purples and blues, and the best part, a new hoodie.

Virgil hadn’t had a new hoodie in years, since Remus bought him a new one after the car incident cause he didn't want D to notice how torn up his old one was. But this hoodie was even better. It wasn’t just black, it had plaid purple patches all over it with white stitching. He loves it. He immediately puts it on and leaves the room. He leaves his stuff in there, he is too distracted to remember why he has to get out of here, right now the only things on his mind are the hoodie and food. He is starving.

The second he walks out of the room, he is hit by the smell of something delicious. He can’t quite identify what it is, but he has to find out. He walks out into the kitchen to find Patton cooking. He has pasta cooking on the stove along with a pot of alfredo sauce, and he is just pulling out of the oven a tray with parmesan chicken on it that looks amazing.

Virgil sits down at the table with Logan and Roman, who are in a deep discussion about the logic behind cartoons. Virgil tunes them out and settles in, fiddling with his new hoodie sleeves. Patton notices him and smiles.

“Hey kiddo, you like the new clothes” he asks “I noticed you’re wearing the hoodie!”

“Yeah, thanks,” Virgil replies. “I don't think I have enough to pay you guys back but I can give you what I have.”

“Aww don't worry about it kiddo, we got those for you with our money because we wanted to.” Patton replies without hesitation. “But if you really want to repay us in some way, we would really appreciate it if you stayed with us for a while.”

“I don't know if that is such a great idea…” Virgil murmurs, sinking further into his seat “I don't wanna be a burden and clearly at least one of you guys doesn’t want me here.” He glances at Roman, who is getting very passionate in his discussion with Logan. 

“Just give him some time kiddo,” Patton replies “He can come off a bit harsh at first, but once you get to know him he’s a real sweetie.”

“Whatever,” Virgil mumbles “I’ll stay for a little while if that is what you really want.”

“Yay!” Patton squeals. “Did you hear that Logan, Virgil agreed to stay for a while!”

“Excellent!” Logan replies, while Roman just groans.

Virgil doesn't hear the rest of their conversation because suddenly he is caught up in his thoughts. Why would he agree to that? I mean yeah, Logan and Patton seemed nice, and he wanted to stay with them, but he couldn't trust them. Also, their friend hated him. What if he broke up their friendship because of this? Or what if he really did become like his dad or Remus. What if he became the untrustworthy abusive one that they couldn't get rid of. Then they would all agree with Roman. He was horrible he was untrustworthy he was-

His thoughts are cut off when he notices all three of the men looking at him. Did they ask him a question and he was too wound up in his own thoughts to notice? Shit, now they probably thought he was ignoring them and-

“Virgil, you okay buddy?” Patton asks.

No, Virgil thinks, but instead he says “Yeah, I just need a moment. Let me know when the food is ready.”

Virgil then gets up and immediately rushes to his room, closing the door behind him with more force than necessary. He collapses on the bed, shaking. He tries to breath but he can't. He doesn't want to have another attack, he doesn't want to bring them down anymore than he already has and will, so he does the only thing he can think of. It has always worked to ground himself, and Remus had encouraged him to continue, finding different ways to cause pain.

Virgil digs his nails into the flesh on his left arm, focusing on the pain. Focusing on the blood that runs down his arm. His breathing slows as he digs his nails deeper and deeper, pulling himself back into reality…

Suddenly a knock at the door startles him. He hears Logan’s voice saying it is time for dinner. Virgil looks at the clock in shock, it has been 20 minutes. Without thinking, he quickly rips the corner of the sheet on the bed and wraps it around his arm to keep it from bleeding onto his new hoodie, then he pulls down his sleeve and heads out to dinner, calmer and yet more frightened than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I know I said I would be posting one chapter a day, but I am just so excited and so I decided to post an extra one today as a treat.  
> Trigger warnings for this chapter:  
> Self-harm descriptions/descriptions of scars, shoulder injury descriptions, self-deprecating thoughts, slight cussing  
> let me know if I missed anything!

Virgil is starving, all he wants to do is eat all the food in front of him then some, but he has self control. He knows they won’t want a guest that eats all their food, and even though Roman doesn’t want him, and even though he can’t trust them yet, this is so much better than home. So he eats slowly, eating about half the food on his plate before announcing he is done and getting up to head back to the room. Just as he is getting up though, someone grabs his arm, the injured one. Virgil hissed in pain, and tried to pull it off as surprise as he sees who grabbed him, it was Logan.

Why did it have to be the smart one, really? Roman wouldn't have cared, and Patton would have been concerned and would probably figure it out, but at least then he could try to get away with lying but nooo, it had to be the one that blinks in surprise then pulls Virgil back into his seat. The one that clearly already has an idea of what is happening, but is a lot more willing to just say it than Patton would be. The one that seems to have everyone figured out all the time and is not shy to admit it.

Virgil allows himself to be pulled back into his seat, if only because of the pain keeping him from yanking his arm away. Once he is sitting again, Logan speaks:

“I was going to tell you that you have a toothbrush set up in Roman’s bathroom, because he reluctantly agreed to share it. However, now I am pressed to ask, What happened to your arm?”

“Nothing,” Virgil replies on instinct, going to stand up again. As Logan reaches out to stop him he snaps “I’m Fine, okay!” and quickly makes his way back to the room.

He knows Logan is going to follow him, and he needs to come up with a plan. He can say it happened when he fell out of bed and he didn't notice it until he changed hoodies. But why would falling out of bed leave those marks? He could say he had a dog at home that attacked him when he was leaving? Yeah, that seems more reasonable. Though it looks a bit too new for that, it is the best solution Virgil can come up with before his door opens. He turns, ready to defend himself to Logan but is shocked to see…. Patton?

It makes sense, considering Logan doesn't seem to have a lot of emotions but it was just…. Unexpected. Honestly he thinks he would have prefered Logan, cause Patton is gonna ask more feeling questions that Virgil isn’t gonna want to answer. At least if Logan asked things like “When” or “How” he could answer them. He doesn't want to answer the “Why” That Patton is gonna ask.

Gods, how does he already know so much about these people? I mean, in their introductions they weren't exactly hard to read, Logical and fact based, emotions and morals, and then egotistical jerk, but now here he was predicting what they were gonna do. He is letting himself get attached, and he can't let that go any farther, because at some point in the near future he is gonna have to leave, for their protection and for his own.

“Hey kiddo,” Patton says as he walks toward him slowly, “I need you to know that you can trust us, okay?”

“How can I know that?” Virgil snaps back without thinking.

“Well, I’m not sure kiddo. But I think you can tell. I think you can feel it in here.” Patton puts a hand over his heart, indicating to the “here” he was talking about. 

He wasn’t wrong. Virgil does feel like he can trust these people, however short the time was that he had known them. But Virgil also always felt he could trust his dad, and as he got older he learned that to be false, so how does he know this won’t just go the same way?

Vigil decides to go with an answer that is true and emotional enough to satisfy Patton, without telling what had happened with his arm, “I don’t know who I can trust anymore.” Virgil murmurs.

“And that’s okay for now,” Patton says, taking Virgil’s uninjured arm and holding it in his lap. He emphasizes each word in his next sentence with a tap on Virgil's fingers “We Will Teach You To Trust Again.” Patton says

. 

Patton notices the blood under Virgil’s fingernails but doesn't say anything about it. He knows they need to get this kid some help, like his parents did for him before he got to Virgil's point, but they can't do anything until Virgil trusts them.

Once Patton leaves, Virgil puts on his headphones and plays music as loudly as he can, trying to block out the world. He falls asleep in a ball on the corner of the bed around midnight, still listening to his music.

Roman can't sleep that night thinking about the new boy in their apartment. He knows how hard it could be to deal with mental health. He himself had dealt with an eating disorder when he was younger. He had gotten the help he needed when he met Patton and Logan, and now, though sometimes he still struggles with self deprecating thoughts, he is off that dark path. 

He would never admit it, but he thinks the boy in the room next door is beautiful, his gray eyes so fearful, yet so gorgeous, his pale skin standing out starkly against his dark clothes in a shockingly beautiful contrast. He is the most amazing boy Roman has ever seen, and he can't bear seeing him in pain. Don't get him wrong, Roman does not want this kid in his apartment, he wants him to leave, and he does not like him. But for some reason, around one in the morning, Roman sneaks into the other boys room and bandages the deep crescent shaped cuts on his arm. It isn’t until after that that Roman is able to fall asleep, drowning out his caring and obsessive thoughts with the reminder: I only did it to get him out of here sooner. Roman tries to believe it.

Virgil wakes up around 3 in the morning with a yelp of pain. He had been dreaming of the car incident again and had woken up when his shoulder hit the concrete in the dream. Gods, he still remembers that pain. He hadn't been able to move his arm for weeks. Huh, that was the same arm he landed on when he fell out of bed the other day, he should probably check on that bruise.

He goes to move out of his awkward curled up position on the bed, barely noticing the new bandage on his other arm before the pain hits him. Shit. It feels just like when it happened. He had had these pains before since the accident, but never this bad. He figured he was probably making it up, and with the fall the other day and sleeping in the wrong position… it must have triggered his brain to convince him that he was in pain.

He doesn't normally do anything about the pain, but as he lays there it just keeps getting worse until it is almost unbearable, so he sneaks out of bed to look for some ice in hope that it’ll help. After a few moments of shuffling around, he hears a voice.

“What are you doing?” Roman asks.

Roman had fallen asleep after helping Virgil, but it wasn't a deep sleep, so when he wakes up to hear Virgil's door opening, it is no surprise. He keeps himself in bed, trying to convince himself that he is hoping Virgil will leave, but then he hears movement in the kitchen. What was the handsome emo doing? 

Finally, his curiosity gets the better of him and he goes to see what Virgil is doing. He comes out to see Virgil shuffling around in the freezer with his bandaged arm. He has his hoodie on so Roman can’t see the bandages, but he knows which arm it is. He is a little confused, why would Virgil be using his injured arm?

Roman finally just asks “What are you doing?” Virgil jumps and turns with a hiss of pain. That is when Roman notices how stiff he is standing. He is clearly in pain, and there are tears running down his face.

“Are you okay” Roman asks before Vigil gets a chance to reply.

He sees Roman looking at his face and instinctively his hand goes up to make sure his bangs are covering his eyes. That is when he notices the tears. Shit. He murmurs something about being fine then goes back to digging around in the freezer. 

Roman has always wanted to be a doctor. That’s why he is doing pre med. He is only just going into his freshman year of college, so he only knew what he had learned in High School and the hours of research he had done. He wants to be a hero, he wants to save people, and right now he has the chance to help. Plus, just like with the bandages, the sooner this emo is feeling better, the sooner he would get out of their apartment.

Roman moves past Virgil, nudging him away gently, though he still hears a hiss from Virgil. He grabs ice from the freezer, figuring it was a safe bet that that was what the boy was looking for. Virgil reaches for it, but Roman doesn’t let him grab it. He knows if he does the boy will just go back to his room and let whatever problem he was having go unnoticed by everyone else. Instead, Roman grabs Virgil’s uninjured arm to lead him to the couch. Big mistake.

Virgil yelps and the tears start falling faster. Roman realized what he had done almost immediately, moving his hand to Virgil’s back to gently lead him to the couch. He gets him settled then hands him the ice. The boy snatches it from Roman and immedietly puts it on his left shoulder. Roman is about to ask if it is helping when he notices how the boy’s body has begun to relax, and Virgil's eyes fall shut as a sigh of relief escapes his mouth. 

Roman gets to work. He goes to his bathroom and grabs the strongest pain meds he can find. Then he heads back to the kitchen and fills a glass of water. He glances at Virgil, who isn’t even bothering to watch him. Though the ice is clearly helping, but Roman can still see the tension in the boy's face, and the way he is holding the ice to his shoulder with a little too much force. Something is seriously wrong.

Virgil hears the footsteps but doesn't look. Normally he would, but he is in too much pain to even think about anxiety right now. He hears a glass and something else being set on the coffee table, then hears shifting on the other side of the couch.

Then he feels his upper body being moved and groans. Damn it, was this person trying to kill him. He hears shuffling as Roman places more pillows behind Virgil's neck and shoulders, then places him back down.

Okay, so maybe Roman wasn’t trying to kill him, Virgil thinks to himself as he settles comfortably into the pillows. But this is still weird.

Roman taps his arm gently until Virgil opens his eyes, annoyed. He sees Roman holding some medication and a glass of water. Virgil narrows his eyes in suspicion.

“It is extra strength ibuprofen, it'll help,” Roman explains, setting down the water to show Virgil the medicine bottle. Virgil nods slightly, in too much pain to object, and lets Roman help him swallow the pills and water, moving his shoulder as little as possible. Roman then moves to the foot of the couch that Virgil is laid across, having to set Virgil’s feet in his lap so as to not sit on them, and grabs the television remote.

“Any requests?” Roman asks

Virgil gives a small shake of his head, trying to relax as he waits for the meds to set in. He knows he is just being a big baby, he should be able to tolerate this pain, it probably isn't even anything. But some small voice in him tells him to take the help, and Virgil listens.

Roman turns on Frozen II, and spends the first half hour of the movie mentally criticizing the plot. People often think Roman hates disney movies due to the amount he criticizes them, but that is just how he shows his appreciation.

About a half hour in, Roman looks at Virgil. The boy seems much more relaxed, and is, to Romans surprise, watching the movie. Roman turns to face Virgil.

“Virgil, I am planning on being a doctor. Though I do not know much yet, I would like to take a look at your shoulder to see if there are any external injuries that could be causing the amount of pain you are in, though it seems unlikely. I would also like to take you to the doctor to get it x-rayed, but I'm going to need you to answer a few questions for me as well, okay?” The boy looks half asleep as he gives a nod. Roman isn't really even sure he heard him, but he goes with it. 

Roman kneels in front of Virgil on the couch and begins removing his hoodie. Virgil yelps and pulls away.

“It’s okay Virgil. It’s gonna hurt a little but I’m going to be as gentle as possible,” Roman says, but the emo is quickly shaking his head. He glances at his other arm and says 

“I don't want you to see”

“I don’t have to take off that sleeve” Roman replies, fully knowing he has already seen, but not wanting to admit that to the other boy.

Virgil shakes his head “Others” he murmurs. Roman decides the only way is to tell him that he has already seen, and before he can second guess himself,

“Look Virgil, I already saw the new ones, I bandaged them while you were asleep, you’re never gonna be able to leave if you are all injured,” Roman says. Virgil chuckles.

“Fine, it’s not like you're gonna care. Just don't tell the others” Virgil replies, relaxing back into the cushion and closing his eyes.

Roman gets the hoodie sleeve off with some struggle and a lot of groans from Virgil, which he tries to ignore. Once he finally has it off, he is shocked by what he sees. The boy’s arm is scattered with scars. Some crescent shaped, some more of vague bruise like shadows caused by scratching. Some smooth lines from cutting, and others, more jagged or stretched that he has no idea what could be from. He can tell that most of it is self harm, but based on the placement of some of them, they aren't all self inflicted. 

Roman tries not to react, quickly moving up to the boy's shoulder and pulling up the shirt sleeve to reveal a large bruise.

“What is this from” Roman asks

“Falling out of bed” The boy mutters

“When”

“A couple days ago, when I first got here”

“Rate your pain when you came in here 1-10”

“Felt like an 8, probably is nothing though. Normally it is like a 6 when this happens” the boy says. Roman rolls his eyes, clearly it isn't nothing.

“How about just laying here? And just give me a number, don't say it's nothing, because clearly it is something, especially if it has happened before, and because you fell out of bed recently.”

Virgil sighs but compiles “4”

“How about now?” Roman asks as he gently lifts Virgil’s arm, forcing the shoulder joint to move. The boy hisses.

“8” He says through clenched teeth “maybe 9”

“Okay,” Roman says, gently setting his arm down. “Thats it” Virgil relaxes slightly. “I want you to spend the rest of the night out here, and in the morning I’m going to make Logan bring you to the ER to get it x rayed, for now get some sleep”

The boy murmurs some sort of objection before falling to sleep, clearly exhausted from the pain. Roman sighs in relief, finally letting himself look at the boy the way he had been longing to since seeing him in the kitchen. His face looks tense even in sleep, and his lean body looks even longer laid out on the couch. Roman allows his attention to fall on the scars on the boy's arm. In them he sees all the suffering this boy had been through, but also everything he had survived. He doesn't pity Virgil, he admires him. 

And THIS, Roman thinks as he pulls his thoughts and eyes away, getting up and heading back to his room, is why Logan is bringing him to the ER tomorrow and not him. Roman can NOT fall in love with the broken emo boy sleeping on his couch. Somehow, the idea that he could be falling in love with this boy makes him even more determined to get rid of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I will post chapter 4 tomorrow


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here I am with another chapter, hope you enjoy!  
> Trigger warnings,  
> Hospital, mentions of abuse, mentions of surgery, talk of parent death, talk of anxiety, self-deprecating thoughts  
> Let me know if I missed anything!

Virgil woke the next morning on the couch, still in pain but not as bad. He goes to sit up but a voice stops him.

“Don’t even think about it,” Logan says from the kitchen. “Roman told me all about last night, and we don't want to make anything worse. So I am going to make sure you eat, then we are going to the ER.”

“But I feel better-” Virgil starts just to be cut off by Logan

“I don’t want to hear it,” Logan says. “You don't get a choice.”

Virgil mutters to himself but lays back down, waiting for the food. Maybe this would finally be the last straw and they would get rid of him. They go to the ER and see nothing is wrong, they get pissed, and they send him on his way. That’s what Virgil wants, right?

Yet somehow, somewhere in the last few days, that isn't what Virgil wants anymore. He knows him leaving is the right thing to do, but it isn't what he wants to do. These people are nice, and he wants to stay with them, no matter how wrong it is. 

Virgil complies with Logan. Eating his breakfast, going to the ER, even letting the people there stick him with needles, which they seem to be doing just for fun as they say some bull shit about him missing vaccines or whatever. Then it comes time to xray his shoulder. He braces himself for the results, knowing nothing is there and they would get rid of him. Finally, the doctor comes in.

“It appears you had a shoulder fracture in the past, but it has not healed properly. Have you had this kind of shoulder pain before?”

Virgil is completely caught off guard, but nods anyways.

“Is there anything that has happened in the past few years that could have caused the fracture?” the doctor asks.

Logan looks at Virgil and they make eye contact. Logan says “be honest Virgil, we just want to help.” Virgil looks away and starts tugging on his hoodie sleeves while he says:

“Maybe when my dad’s roommate made me jump out of a car going 90 miles per hour.”

Both Logan and the doctor look shocked, but they shake it off quickly. “That most certainly could have been it” the doctor says quietly. “Now you have a couple options. You could do nothing, in which case you will continue to have shoulder pain, but we can give you some medications to make it more manageable, or we could do a procedure where we basically re-break the bone then screw it into place correctly. This procedure relieves all symptoms in most patients, it has a very high success rate.”

“I don't need anything, it’s not that big of a deal, I don't think I could afford-” Virgil is cut off by Logan.

“I have excellent medical insurance. Could I use that to cover the procedure?” Logan asks. Virgil shakes his head at him, trying to object, but Logan ignores him.

“Unfortunately, unless you are family members your medical insurance will not cover his procedure” The doctor replies. Virgil sighs in relief, but is shocked when Logan asks:

“How much is the procedure?”

“Probably about $15,000” The doctor replies calmly, as if that isn't more money than Virgil has ever seen in his life.

“We’ll do it,” Logan says. “When is the soonest opening?”

The doctor pulls up a calendar on the computer and they schedule it, then she explains something to Virgil about medications and sends them home with a shoulder brace and two bottles of pain medications, but Virgil wasn't listening.

He can’t let someone else pay $15,000 for him, that is absurd! Maybe he could call D, he is sure he would do it, although he would probably find a way to make it so Virgil owed him that much plus some and end up with Virgil back at the house in the same phone call. What could he do?

“I understand you likely do not want me to pay for the procedure” Logan says, interrupting his thoughts. “I would like to explain. My parents were very rich and they died when I was 15, leaving me with a couple hundred million dollars and nothing to do with it. It seems impractical to spend it on large houses or anything, however I have spent some on my education. Yet I still have most left over. I do not discuss this much because I do not like to brag about money, only my intelligence. Had you asked me two years ago, I most certainly would not have offered to pay, however Patton has taught me that sometimes helping other people can be just as self fulfilling as education. Therefore I am paying for your surgery.”

Virgil is so shocked, he can’t think of what to say. Finally, he settles for “thanks”, knowing he cannot talk Logan out of it. Apparently he is getting shoulder surgery.

The two weeks before the surgery flew by. They are the best two weeks Virgil has ever had. He didn't realize he could still smile!

Roman was all over him all the time, claiming it was for his education, helping with his shoulder wrap, reminding him to take meds. All Virgil could do was nod and try not to think about how awesome he looked in that red leather jacket.

Patton was so careful and helpful, knowing when Virgil was in too much pain to do something before he even knew it himself. Somehow Patton’s excitement for being helpful made Virgil feel as if he was giving the boy a gift by letting him help him, and somehow Virgil found himself “giving” a lot more than he would have expected.

He still had troubles with a couple of anxiety attacks, but Logan was great at helping him through them, and soon he found himself able to sense when one was coming and stop it before it got too bad. This didn't work all the time, but sometimes was enough for now.

And the best part. This was the longest time Virgil had gone without hurting himself for as long as he could remember. Maybe he wasn't gonna turn into Remus after all! (although hope is a dangerous thing, Virgil's anxiety constantly reminded him)

Somehow Logan had talked him into letting him pay for his college, and Virgil was gonna be an art and engineering double major, starting a week after his surgery, which Virgil was  _ so _ happy about, because obviously he wanted to start college looking like an idiot with his arm in a sling. He only told Logan about the engineering part, as something in him still needed to keep this vulnerable part of himself away from the others. He still couldn't trust them completely. 

All good things have to end though, as finally the day of the surgery came. Virgil is nervous to say the least. The idea of complete strangers cutting him open and putting screws in his shoulder is not something Virgil particularly likes. But after everything they had done for him, Virgil can't say that he is nervous for the thousands of dollars surgery Logan paid for for him, so he keeps these feelings to himself. He thought he was doing a pretty good job of it, until Roman comes out to the couch Virgil is sitting on, where he is watching a nightmare before christmas. Virgil tries to ignore him, but he is forced to acknowledge Roman when he says,

“You seem pretty nervous, I just wanted to check in.” This wasn’t entirely abnormal. Roman and Virgil still make rude comments at each other every day, but when the others aren't around, Roman is surprisingly nice to Virgil. Virgil tries to pretend that he doesn't like it, snapping at Roman every time he gets, but he can't help but enjoy the presence of the other boy. 

“What do you care, Princey?” Virgil snaps back, not looking away from the television. 

“I don't know, I just do emo knight,” Roman says back.

Virgil doesn't know why, but he finds himself wanting to open up to the egocentric boy. He has seen the way Logan and Patton look at each other. He has seen the quick kisses they give in the morning. He has to admit that he wants that. And Roman…. Well, he cares more than he lets on. “Well I don't know why, but apparently the idea of strangers cutting me open while I’m asleep makes me a bit nervous.” Virgil snaps. He knows this isn't exactly how people normally open up to each other, but he is doing his best. 

“Well we don’t have to be at the hospital for another couple hours, and I’ve been doing a lot of research. I can talk you through the procedure if you’d like” Roman replies. Over that last couple weeks, Roman had really grown to like the emo boy. He may be dark and difficult to understand, but Roman found himself really wanting to understand him. Roman was falling in love, and he had given up on trying to stop himself from falling. 

So Roman spends the next two hours walking Virgil through the procedure. Virgil listens quietly except for interjecting a couple questions here and there. When Roman finishes, Virgil seems a lot more relaxed. Logan comes in, telling them they have to get going. Roman gets up to go back to his room, the plan was for just Logan and Virgil to go, but Virgil grabs his arm and stops him.

“Will you come too” He asks quietly, ashamed to even be asking.

Roman looks at the other boy in shock. Virgil opens his mouth, letting go of Roman’s arm, starting to take back the question, but Roman snatches back his hand quickly and cuts him off:

“Of course I will come.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter, hope you like it!  
> Trigger warnings:  
> hospital, surgery, self-harm scars and memories, abuse scars and memories, self-deprecating thoughts  
> as always, let me know if I missed anything!

They enter the steril hospital and Virgil is overwhelmed by the smell of, well, a steril hospital. They sign in and then wait for what seems like eternity, Virgil pulling at his hoodie sleeves and bouncing his leg nonstop. After about 10 minutes of watching this, although to Virgil it feels like hours, Roman places his hand gently on Virgil's bouncing leg, and it stops. Virgil's hands keep moving, but he has to admit, the pressure of Roman’s hand on his leg helps. It gives him something gentle and warm and good to focus on. 

Virgil focuses on that pressure for the next half hour until finally a doctor comes out and calls his name:

“Virgil Storm” The doctor says. She looks very professional, but when Virgil gets over there with Roman and Logan in tow, she smiles.

“Hello Virgil, I am Doctor Picani” She says sweetly. “I know you are likely nervous for the procedure today, but I will talk you through everything once we have you prepared and in your room, sound good?”

Virgil nods. Nervous is an understatement. He is terrified. His knees are shaking and he is wondering if he will even make it to the room when he feels something brush against his hand. It is Roman. He doesn't need it, he tells himself as he grasps onte Roman’s hand for dear life. That isn't to say he doesn't want it though.

Once they get back to the room Dr. Picani asks Vigil to change into a hospital gown then starts to leave the room. Virgil stops her with a question:

“Can I keep my hoodie on?” He asks sheepishly. He doesn't want to be a bother, but he NEEDS to keep his hoodie on. Logan hasn't seen any of his scars and Roman has only seen half of it, and Virgil isn't about to change that today.

“For now if you wish. But you will have to remove it so we can place your IV and prep your shoulder” She replies, oblivious to the fear spiking in Virgil. As she leaves, Virgil begins to panic. He can't let anyone see his arms. They’re gonna think he is a phyco. Sure, some of them are from Remus, but most of them are from himself. They are gonna lock him up and-

“Hey” Roman’s voice cuts through his thoughts, sounding slightly strained, “could you loosen that grip a little?”

“Oh sorry” Virgil says, quickly dropping Roman’s hand. He hadn't even realized he was holding on so tight. Virgil then quietly says “Once they make me take my hoodie off you guys need to leave. I can't- I don't-”

“You don't want us to see your scars” Logan finishes bluntly. “Don’t worry, we will not judge. I would like to stay however for the full prep, as I would like to make sure they are doing everything correctly. I also believe since Roman is here it is important that he stay as well. This is a brilliant learning experience for him. However we will leave while you change.”

Logan and Roman walk out of the room, leaving Virgil alone for a moment. Virgil takes off his hoodie to change, thinking about what Logan had said. Though Vigil really doesn't want them in the room, Logan is right that Roman should see, and it is his money so he has a right to stay too. Virgil sighs as he pulls his shirt off and puts on the robe. Before putting his hoodie back on he takes a moment to examine his arms, where his scars are. He can remember every single one.

That cut across his left forearm was the day he found out D was going on a work trip and leaving him with Remus for two weeks. The car accident happened in those two weeks.

That circle on his upper left arm near his shoulder was when Remus wanted to see if he could cut out a circle of skin with a jaggedly cut pop can. It didn't work.

The long cut from his right wrist to elbow was what he did after he came out to D, and he told him that he wasn’t gay. He didn't say he didn't like it, he just said it wasn't true. He managed to convince Virgil for a long time after that night.

There were so many more, and Virgil is caught up in his memories when he hears a knock.

“Virgil” Logan’s voice says “You have had more than adequate time to get dressed. Is your shoulder bothering you? Do you need assistance?”

“Nope, I'm done” Virgil replies while quickly putting back on his hoodie. He left his shoulder brace off, as the Dr Picani would need to access it, and flops onto the bed, trying to bring himself back to the present. 

Logan walks in followed by Roman, who comes in more cautiously. He relaxes when he sees that Virgil has his hoodie on, and puts back on his normal overly confident walk. He isn't ready to see those scars again. He has to pull himself together quickly, for Virgil.

The doctor comes back about 5 minutes of awkward conversation later, followed by two other people.

They introduce themselves as the nurse and anesthesiologist but Virgil forgets both their names after the million questions he is asked. How could he remember anything when being asked so many questions.

Finally though, the time comes when the nurse asks him to remove his hoodie. He looks at Roman and Logan, silently pleading for them to leave, but when Logan meets his eyes and shakes his head, Virgil knows it isn't gonna happen, so he sighs and reluctantly takes off his hoodie.

The nurse's eyes widen and he hears a gasp from Roman. Logan just gives a knowing hum. He doesn't look at any of their faces. Then comes the question. 

“Virgil, what are all of these scars from?” Dr. Picani asks, stepping forward from behind the nurse, who gratefully turns away.

“Some are from my dad’s roommate” Virgil mutters, knowing he can't lie to the doctors who are about to cut him open. At the same time, he isn't ready to tell the whole truth.

“What about the rest Virgil?” Dr Picani pushes. Damn, she’s good. Most people would have been so distracted by the child abuse they wouldn’t have noticed the “some” at the begining of the sentance. Virgil doesn't reply.

“Let's make this a yes or no question” the doctor says “Virgil, are any of these self inflicted?”

“Will this affect the surgery?” Virgil asks, not yet answering.

“This does not affect your safety in the surgery.” she replies “But if you don't answer I will refuse to operate. I do not like operating without knowing full medical history.”

Virgil contemplates his options for a moment. He could admit his insanity to the doctor, then she’d know he was crazy and probably kick him out. He could lie, but then Roman and Logan would know he was lying and probably snitch on him. He could refuse to answer and Logan wouldn't have to pay for the procedure, but then he would have paid the other bills for nothing… Finally, Virgils just decided to answer. He will never see the woman again in his life, it can’t hurt. He nods.

“What percentage would you say are self-inflicted?” The doctor asks

Whelp, he has committed to telling the truth now, might as well keep going. He doesn't want to turn into his dad after all “I’m not sure. Probably around like 85%”

“Okay, thank you for your honestly, let's finish getting you prepped”

After she has finished the prep (she didn't want to put that poor nurse through poking through those boys scars with needles, heck she could barely do it), Dr Picani leaves the room and fishes around her pockets for her phone. She calls her brother. He picks up on the second ring.

“Hey Valarie, what's up?” he asks brightly.

“Emile , I have a patient here, a young adult, that is getting ready to go into surgery. He has scars mostly from self inflicted injuries covering both arms. I haven't seen anything like this in a long time. This boy is clearly scared and I would just call psych but, I think he will need someone for longer than while he is here, and you know I don't trust this hospital's psych department. Will you please come?”

“I cannot talk to him without his consent. Feel free to give him a referral. But I’d recommend not calling psych. With a boy like that, if he hasn't killed himself yet he probably isn't going to, so it is best to let him come to me in his own time.”

“Okay Emile , I trust you, thank you.”

“No problem Valarie. You know you can call whenever you need.”

Valarie hangs up the phone and takes a deep breath. She is going to take Emile ’s advice, but for now, she has to go back to being Virgil’s surgeon.

Once all the doctors have left, Virgil takes a deep breath and looks over at Roman and Logan. Roman is looking at Virgil's arms with the same admiration as before, but Virgil reads it as pity. Logan is just looking with curiosity. Virgil sighs. They will never think of him the same again.

“I must admit” Logan says, breaking the tense silence, “That is more than I expected.”

Virgil rolls his eyes “yeah well, send me off with the crazies then why don't ya. Clearly you don't want me staying with you after seeing this.”

“I do not understand” Logan replies “Why would a few scars change whether we will let you stay with us.”

“Cause you don't want to live with an insane person” Virgil replies as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. Logan goes quiet, trying to understand what Virgil means. After a few moments, Roman whispers,

“Don’t say that”

“What” Virgil replies

“Don't call yourself crazy,” Roman says. His voice is getting louder and he is getting angry. He's not upset with Virgil. He is upset with all the people in Virgil’s life that made him think of himself this way. That made him think he was insane and not suffering through a true illness. Roman snaps ``You are NOT INSANE” he yells “CLEARLY YOU ARE HURTING. YOU'VE MADE IT THROUGH THIS FAR, THAT IS BRAVERY NOT INSANITY. I WILL HUNT DOWN ANYONE WHO EVER TOLD YOU ANYWISE AND-” He cuts himself off when he notices how close he has gotten to Virgil, and the fear in the other boys eyes as he cowers away from Roman. Roman takes a deep breath.

“I’m sorry” He says quieter.

“It’s okay,” Virgil's replies, relaxing slightly, “I get why you're pissed. You’ve been keeping me in your house for this long when I could snap and hurt you at any moment and-”

“Did you not listen to a word I just said” Roman cuts Virgil off. “Virgil, none of us think you are crazy. None of us want to get rid of you. You are not the only one of us who has struggled with these kinds of thoughts. Though the rest of us got help and didn't resort to the actions, you were alone. Sure you may have sliced up your arms, but you are still alive. That takes a lot of bravery and a lot of strength. I don’t fear or hate you Virgil, I admire you.” Romans eyes are shining with tears when he finishes. Logan steps forward

“Though I am not great with emotions, I agree with Roman” Logan says. “You are alive, and that on its own is a victory for someone in your situation.”

Virgil wishes he could believe it, but he can't, not today. Maybe soon, but not yet. Roman and Logan know this isn't going to be enough to convince Virgil he is worthy of living, but maybe if they say it enough, someday it will be me. “I appreciate the thought” Virgil finally says “but I’m not sure that is true”

“Someday you’ll believe us” Roman replies. “And that will be an amazing day.”

Logan goes back to the chair against the wall, but Roman gets onto the bed with Virgil and takes his arms. He begins to examine his scars. Virgil tries to pull away, but Roman holds tight. He traces the scars lightly with his fingers as he looks at them, and Virgil begins to relax. 

“I hope someday you will tell us more of these stories” Roman whispers to Virgil. “Could I get one today?”

“Not today” Virgil whispers back “But maybe someday.”

Virgil and Roman are still laying like this when Dr. Picani returns. “Okay you are all set” she says “I would like to give you this referral to my brother Dr Emile Picani. He is a brilliant therapist near here and I think he could help you a lot.” She hands the paper to Virgil. Virgil considers throwing it out on the spot, but something in him tells him to keep it, so he hands it to Roman and asks him to put it in his hoodie pocket. Roman complys, then settles in the chair next to Logan so they can take Virgil away.

“Now, do you have any more questions before the procedure?” Dr Picani asks.

“I don’t think so” Virgils says “Roman talked me through it. I just want to get it over with” 

“Okay. Now, just a reminder, there are some risks involved. You were given the list to read, would you like me to say them as well?”

Virgil shakes his head. He did not read the list because he does not need any other worst case scenarios to think about. 

“Perfect. Finally, recovery. You will need to do physical therapy for a few months, and there is a chance even after this procedure you may have occasional pain, but it should not be as bad as before. You should regain full usage of your shoulder within a few months.”

Virgil nods, trying not to think about how school starts in a week and he is going to have his arm in a sling. At least he is left handed. 

“Okay. I am going to put a drug into your IV now to help you relax. You probably won't remember much once I do this.”

Virgil looks at Roman while the doctor works. He feels himself begin to relax and feels the bed being wheeled out of the room. He remembers being asked to count in a room full of doctors and sharp looking tools. Then he falls asleep.

Two hours later, Virgil is moved to recovery and Roman and Logan are allowed to see him. He is still asleep when they get there. The doctor had said the surgery went perfectly, but warned them that he may not be himself when he wakes up due to the drugs. He will have to take a lot of them the next few days and will probably be in some pain when he finally goes off them. But Roman didn't care about all of that, he just wanted to see Virgil.

He had decided in the last couple hours that he was going to ask the boy out. Screw getting rid of Virgil, if it meant he got to be closer to Virgil, Roman was willing to share his bathroom. Roman figured the boy would be more likely to say yes if he asked him while on drugs, but the risk was that he wouldn't remember it. So if Virgil says yes, Roman is going to film it as evidence so then Virgil is forced to go on a date with him. 

Vigil looks so relaxed on the bed, and Roman is content to just watch him sleep forever, but he wakes up after about 10 minutes and looks right at Roman.

“Romaaaaan” Virgil squeals “Aren’t you just so hot in that swaggy jacket there aren’t you”

Roman is shocked by this statement. He thought Virgil was great just to watch sleep, but this was so much better! He got a beautiful man complimenting him aaand it happened to be the man he wanted to ask out, perfect!

Virgil is babbling something to Logan about him and Patton being cute together and Roman is about to try and save him when the conversation (which seems very one sided) shifts.

“I wish I had someone that I liked like that,” Virgil says to Logan. His words are slurring together slightly from the drugs, and it is adorable how serious yet out of it he looks, “I kinda like Roman but I’m not good at that stuff…”

“Why don't you give it a try?” Roman asks encouragingly as he sneakily hands Logan his phone to record.

“Okay!” Virgil says. “Rooooman. I think you are as handsome as a disney prince. I liiiike you. Wanna go out?”

Roman puts on his most dashing princely smile and says “I would love to my friendly emo”

“Yeah, you call me that cause I dress in dark clothes all the time,” Virgil says, completely serious.

“Yes I do” Roman agrees, trying to keep himself from bursting out laughing. He takes his phone back from Logan while Virgil continues babbling, making sure he got the video. He did. His plan went even better than he thought, he didn't even have to ask Virgil out, Now he just has to come up with a plan for the date. Of course he wants to do something extravagant, but he knows Virgil would probably get overwhelmed by that, ruining his chances at a second date. He would go with something simple and classic, a simple meal together. But for now, he is going to enjoy his Virgil babble while he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys get an extra chapter today cause why not  
> This chapter is pretty fluffy, no major warnings but just a couple of small ones.  
> Trigger warnings:  
> shoulder pain, mentions of pain medication, slight dehydration  
> I hope you enjoy the fluff!

They are discharged from the hospital and allowed to go home a couple hours and a lot of instructions later. They bring Virgil to the car in a wheelchair, and Virgil giggles about how tall everyone else is the whole way. 

When they get home, Patton is grabbing snacks in the kitchen. He has the couch all set up for Virgil at Logan's request. “It is the best spot for him. It provides comfortable rest while being very near both food and entertainment, much more logical than his room.” Everyone except Virgil now called it Virgils room. 

Patton looks up when they come in with a huge smile on his face “hey, I heard the surgery went well kiddo, how ya feelin? Want some snacks?”

“Heeeey Patton,” Virgil says, swaying slightly on his feet. Roman holds him steady and leads him to the couch while Virgil keeps talking to Patton “I’m good! I got my hoodie back!” Virgil holds up his good arm to show he is wearing the hoodie. “I’ll take some snacks too.”

Patton goes to grab the snacks but Logan holds up a hand to stop him. They watch as Roman helps get Virgil situated on the couch. Once comfortable, Virgil is asleep within seconds.They all stifle laughs.

“Don’t worry Patton” Logan says once they all have control of their laughter. “He will be very hungry in the morning considering he has had nothing to eat all day. For now we should let him rest, he had a long day.”

Patton and Logan go back to Logan’s room, hand in hand. Roman lingers, watching Virgil sleep. Every night since Virgil got here, Roman has woken up to hear a yelp, or to hear Virgil getting up for water in the middle of the night. It is nice to see the boy sleeping peacefully. He deserves it.

After a few more minutes of watching, Roman signs and heads to his room. It had been a long day, and it is getting late. Roman changes and lays down, thinking he is going to read before he falls asleep, but he is out the moment his head hits the pillow.

Virgil wakes up to a very achy shoulder and a very dry mouth. He looks at the clock in the main room and sees it is 5 in the morning. Resigning himself to some untimely wakings due to pain in the next couple weeks, Virgil sighs and begins slowly moving out of bed. The doctor told him the drugs would dehydrate him but he hadn't thought it would be this bad. His mouth felt like sandpaper.

After a couple failed attempts, Virgil finally hauls himself off the couch and makes his way to the kitchen. He fills a glass of water, downs it, then fills another before heading back to sit down on the couch. He can't take his pain meds until 10, and his shoulder is sore enough that sleep seems unlikely, so he decided to turn on the TV. He puts it on a low volume and subtitles and settles in.

It is 8 in the morning and the credits are rolling on his second movie when Virgil notices Roman walk in. Roman, seeing that Virgil is awake, goes over to check on him. 

“Hey Princey.” Virgil mutters as Roman walks over

“Now there’s the emo I know” Roman says happily as he leans on the couch. Though Virgil was adorable yesterday, him not acting like himself to that extent started getting a little unsettling. It was good to have the real thing back. Well, almost. I mean, he was watching Frozen intentionally, clearly he wasn't quite himself yet.

“When did you wake up?” Roman asks

“Too early” Virgil moans, covering his eyes with his good arm. “My stupid shoulder hurts. I thought this stupid procedure was supposed to stop that.”

Yep, Virgil but not Virgil. Virgil would make a comment like that about the procedure, but he would never admit to Roman that he was in pain, Roman was always left guessing. He’d be like this for the next couple days. Giving Roman the best chance yet to get to know more of the things the boy wouldn't normally tell him.

“How about I help you find a distraction,” Roman suggests, “What do you normally do to distract yourself?” He knows it’s a long shot, but maybe he can learn a bit more about Virgil.

Something in Virgil knows what Roman is doing and wants to shut him down, but that part is too deep in the drug fog to get a say. “I like to draw,” Virgil says, “and listening to music calms me down.”

Ooooh, Roman is getting somewhere with this. “Can you draw with your left hand” Roman asks, realizing he has never seen Virgil write or draw.

“I'm left handed dumbass. Go get my backpack from the room.”

Roman grins and does as requested. Roman hadn't been in the room since Virgil got there, Virgil never let anyone in. Another sign he isn't himself yet. Virgil hasn't done much in there. His clothes aren't even in the drawers, they are just laying on the floor in front of them. Roman makes a mental note to help Virgil with room design, and soon.

He comes back carrying the same ratty backpack Virgil showed up with. Another mental note, get this boy a better backpack for school.

When he gets back into the room Virgil has shifted into more of a sitting position, making more room for Roman to sit on the couch. Roman sits down and gives Virgil his backpack. Virgil tries to open it one handed, even trying to use his teeth, but he just can't get the zipper. Finally, he asks Roman to open it. Once open, Virgil starts shuffling around in the bag.

Something in the back of Virgil’s mind is screaming at him to stop, but it is so quiet Virgil doesn't even acknowledge it. Instead he lets Patton’s words from the night he hurt himself run through his mind: We Will Teach You To Trust Again. Virgil had not believed him at the time, but now he is starting to. 

Virgil pulls out his pencil pouch and sketchbook, handing his pencil pouch to Roman to open while he finds the next blank page. Roman hands back his pencil case and Virgil gets into the least awkward possible position to draw on and balance his sketchbook on his legs with only one hand. It is still pretty awkward. 

Virgil glances at his headphones, and Roman seems to read his mind. Roman pulls them out and turns them on, placing them over Virgil’s ears. Virgil grabs his phone to play music, then he starts to draw.

Roman watches, completely mesmerized, as Virgil brings the page to life with just a pencil. Slowly, the page is filled, covered in smooth shading that creates an ominous darkness to the whole thing. Virgil draws bare trees leaning over a path that leads into the distance. There are clouds in the sky and it looks like it is raining. It is so sad yet so beautiful.

When Virgil is done he closes the sketchbook with a sigh and looks at the clock. Finally, 10 o’clock. He swears if his shoulder starts hurting anymore he will scream. He pulls off his headphones and goes to put his stuff away when he notices Roman is still there. Gods, he had gotten so into his work he hadn't even noticed. Virgil looks at Roman, waiting for a comment, waiting for him to trash his art. Fear courses through Virgil. Yep, the drugs are definitely wearing off more.

“Virgil that is beautiful” Roman says sincerely. Virgil, caught off guard, just shrugs, forgetting he can't do that, then yelps in pain, dropping his sketchbook and grabbing his shoulder.

Roman quickly picks up the sketchbook and puts it away for Virgil. While Roman is doing this, Virgil gets off the couch and heads to the bathroom where they put his meds. He finds them quickly, but then realizes that opening them is going to be more challenging than he thought. After about 5 minutes of struggle, Virgil hears a chuckle from the doorway.

“You need a little help there?” Roman asks from the doorway. Damn, when did he get there? Virgil’s normally heightened senses are still dulled by the remains of the drugs. Virgil groans and chucks the pill container at him, misses, and watches as it rolls up against Roman’s bed. Roman just laughs.

“Shut up princey” Virgil mutters, watching as Roman grabs the bottle and opens it first try “and don’t be such a show off” 

Roman just laughs again and hands Virgil the meds, watching as Virgil fills a glass of water and takes them, downing all of the water with them. Clearly he is still dehydrated from the procedure. 

Roman figures now is as good of a time as any to remind Virgil of the date he agreed to, so that is what he does.

“What, I did no such thing” Virgil immediately says. He will NOT admit that he does in fact have a vague recollection of not just agreeing to a date, but asking Roman on a date. That will happen over his dead body.

“I thought you may say that” Roman says, pulling out his phone with a grin on his face, “Hence why I had a certain someone film it for me.”

About halfway through the video Virgil snatches the phone from Roman's hand while Roman just stands there grinning. Virgil stops the video then chucks the phone at Romans bed. Thankfully, he doesn't miss this time, and it lands softly on the pillows.

“Fine” Virgil snaps. Roman notices he is blushing as he says “I guess I’ll go on a date with you.”

Roman resists the urge to jump up and down and squeal, instead settling for a grin. “Great, meet me in the front room tomorrow at 6.”

“Wait, where are you taking me?” Virgil calls as Roman walks away. Roman doesn't reply. This is gonna be a surprise. 

Virgil finds himself standing in the room at 4:00 the next afternoon, staring at his 5 t-shirts and 3 pairs of jeans in a panic. He doesn’t have anything to wear for the date!

Not that he cares, he definitely doesn't care, why would he, he doesn't want to go on this date, he doesn't even like Roman.

He tells himself these things, but they don’t seem to be true as 5 minutes later he is still standing in front of the same clothes, frozen in panic.

He hears a knock at the door and doesn’t answer. He hears the door creak open and doesn't look. Then he hears Patton’s voice “You okay kiddo? I heard you are going out tonight, are you excited?”

“No!” Virgil exclaims before he can stop himself. Patton looks at him in concern and he sighs. “I have nothing to wear,” Virgil mutters, ashamed to even be saying it. Patton’s eyes widen as he looks at Virgil’s options.

“Well we are going to have to fix that aren’t we,” Patton replies without hesitation. “What time are you going out?”

“6” Virgil mutters, still embarrassed.

“Perfect, that gives us just enough time to go shopping!”

A few minutes later, Virgil finds himself in front of a mall with Patton dragging him into the store excitedly. Virgil sighs in resignation and puts on his headphones to block some of the noise before following Patton into the building. 

An hour later, Virgil finds himself in front of a mirror in the changing room, admiring their most recent outfit choice. Patton had to help him in and out of shirts, which Virgil was more than a little uncomfortable with, especially since Patton was the only one left who hadn’t seen his scars, but Patton didn’t even acknowledge it, chatting away and not saying a thing about the awkward situation or scars. 5 outfits in, Virgil was barely fazed by needing Patton’s assistance.

This most recent outfit was a purple button down loosely tucked into a pair of not ripped black skinny jeans. He wore a black leather jacket with a couple silver chains and zippers, and some badass knee high combat boots with silver buckles. Virgil was at first worried about standing out too much in it, but after some taking down from Patton, he had to admit he kinda loved it. 

Virgil has one more concern though. His sling looks absolutely stupid with the outfit. It ruins all the tough edginess the outfit gives him, and if he is going to spend every penny he had left trying to buy it, it had to be perfect.

“The sling ruins the whole thing,” Virgil sighs, starting to shrug off the jacket when Patton stops him. 

“I have an idea” Patton says “Stay here.” Patton leaves and suddenly he is alone in the changing room. Virgil puts on his headphones, turning on some music, and sits on the bench while he waits for Patton to get back, wondering what crazy idea Patton has this time.

Patton gets back about 5 minutes later with his arms full of black and purple scarves. After some trial and error, they eventually get a purple scarf that matches the button down and wraps it around the sling. It isn’t perfect, but it pulls it together nicely.

“Well aren't you such a Chemical Romance,” Patton says. Virgil grins and Patton looks hopefully, “did I do that right? That’s a band right…” Patton drifts off when he sees how wide Virgil is grinning. 

“You used it perfectly Patton” Virgil says without looking away from the mirror. Patton grins.

“Okay kiddo! Well let's check out and get home. Can’t be late for your date!”

At 5:30 they pull back up to the apartment. Patton had to chip in a little because Virgil didn’t have enough. Virgil tried to object but Patton was just too excited. So now they were home with Virgil’s new outfit, and Virgil had 30 minutes to get ready.

Patton follows Virgil into his room and helps him get dressed. By the time they have everything situated Vigil only has 15 minutes. He grabs his eyeshadow and heads over to Patton and Logan’s bathroom. 

After adding some eyeshadow to cover the bags permanently under his eyes, situating his bangs over his face and swishing some mouthwash, Virgil deems himself presentable. He steps out of the bathroom into Patton’s room and Patton squeals.

“Ooooh don’t you just look amazing!” Patton exclaims. He gestures for Virgil to turn and Virgil rolls his eyes. After showing off from all angles Patton shoos Virgil out. “Your date is waiting!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, next chapter is the date!


	7. chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The date is here!  
> A few trigger warnings for this chapter:  
> Talk of eating disorder, talk of self-harm and self-deprecating thoughts  
> as always let me know if I missed anything!

Virgil steps into the main room at 6 PM exactly. Roman is already in there, facing away, and Virgil has to fight the blush rising in his cheeks when Roman turns around.

Roman is dashing in a crisp white button down and red suit jacket. He wears a gold tie and gold bracelets. He wears regular jeans making the look more of a casual date look instead of looking like he is going to the freaking opera like it would have been, but the look is finished with sparkling gold dress shoes.

“You-you look…. Good. Um, re-really g-good,” Virgil stutters, trying to get control of himself. How had D ever convinced him he was straight?

“As do you,” Roman replies. He bows slightly as he offers his hand. “Would thy do me the honor of accompanying me on this date” Roman says with a sparkle in his eyes.

Virgil rolls his eyes “Well I already said yes” He says, giving Roman his hand. Roman leads them out of the apartment to the car, and opens the door for Virgil. “I can open a door myself Princey” Virgil mutters. Roman laughs. 

They drive for about 10 minutes in comfortable silence before pulling up to a small diner called Eat and Greet. Roman gets out and goes around the car to open the door for Virgil, but Virgil beats him to it. Roman is faster than Virgil though and does manage to get to the door for the diner first, holding it open for Virgil. 

When they get in Virgil looks around. The place is small with a relaxed atmosphere. There is a front desk with a small waiting area. Behind that there are booths lining the walls with a dance floor in the middle. It doesn't appear to be too crowded. There is also a small stage and karaoke machine in the back. 

“Hello Thomas” Roman says happily when they get to the front desk. The man sitting there has brown hair and brown eyes. He smiles when he sees Roman.

“Hello Roman. I saved you your favorite booth as requested. Who do you have with you today?”

“Why, this is Virgil,” Roman replies. Roman glances at Virgil and seems to make a decision. He grins as he adds “He is my date.”

“Well great to meet you Virgil” Thomas says. “Why don’t I get the two of you to your booth.”

Thomas leads the two of them to a booth on the right side. It is at the far end of the dance floor, near the karaoke machine. Of course this was Roman’s favorite booth. Where he could see dancers and hear singers most clearly. Roman takes the seat facing the dance floor, and Virgil takes the one across from him, facing the karaoke machine and the back of the diner. 

This makes Virgil a little nervous because he normally likes to be able to see people going in and out. But this way Virgil can see people come and go from the kitchen, which is something. 

“You two get comfortable,” Thomas says while he hands them the menus “I’ll be back in a few minutes to take your orders.” Thomas heads over to a group across the dance floor and starts talking animatedly to them while Virgil opens the menu. 

As Virgil looks over the menu he starts looking at prices out of habit. That’s when he realizes…. He spent all of his money on his outfit. Plus he technically asked Roman out, doesn't that mean he is supposed to pay?

Virgil stares at the menu, trying not to panic when he hears Roman say something.

“Hmmm?” Virgil says, having not heard what Roman asked.

“What are you thinking of ordering?” Roman asks, trying to start a conversation.

“I dunno” Virgil mumbles

“Don’t worry about prices, it’s on me,” Roman says. Virgil glances at him over his menu suspiciously. How did Roman seem to know exactly what he was worrying about. Virgil calms down a little knowing he isn’t expected to pay, however he is still anxious about Roman paying. He thinks the steak looks really good, but it is definitely too expensive, so Virgil goes with the cheaper option of baked mac and cheese.

“Oooh I love the mac and cheese here” Roman says. “It is really cheesy and the little crispy bread bits are amazing.” Virgil nods. Roman is trying too hard to start a conversation, he has gotta help somehow. But he doesn’t normally talk to the rest of them. He isn’t good at small talk. Normally he sits quietly at the dinner table, or him and Roman watch a movie, or Roman just sits next to him while he hangs out and listens to music. How does one do small talk….

Roman is nervous. He really likes Virgil, but he doesn't know how to talk to him. The other boy is glancing around the room and Roman is worried he wants to leave. He has got to start a conversation that’ll interest him. He knows he can’t rely on Virgil to start a conversation.

“What kind of music do you like to listen to?” Roman asks, trying to cater to the other boy’s interests. Virgil looks at him and raises an eyebrow. “What?” Roman asks.

“You’ll laugh,” Virgil says.

“No I won’t”

“Yeah, you will.”

“Try me” Roman says, leaning back in the booth and crossing his arms. Virgil sighs.

“Normally I listen to MCR and Panic! At the Disco. Sometimes I listen to Fall out Boys.”

Roman’s turn to raise an eyebrow. This boy really is the classic emo. “I probably could have guessed that. Real predictable.”

“Yep” Virgil says with a small smirk. “What about you? Wait, let me guess, Disney.”

“Bingo.” Roman says. “Although I do listen to Broadway too. I guess I can be pretty predictable too.” Roman grins, and Virgil smirks back, looking at him from under his bangs. Roman looks at Virgil’s eyes. They are gray, but they have specks of color throughout, small specks of hazel and brown and gold. They are beautiful and different from any eyes Roman has seen. He wishes the other boy wouldn’t cover them with his hair so much.

“Hey, sorry that took a bit,” Thomas says, walking back up to their table. “What would you like to eat today?”

Thomas takes their orders and heads off. Roman and Virgil keep talking, asking about favorite colors (red and purple), favorite animals (horse and cat) and hobbies (theatre and art). Virgil is impressed at his own ability to small talk when they are interrupted by the arrival of their food.

Roman digs right in, but Virgil eats a little slower. If he is gonna let Roman pay he is at least going to take leftovers to make two meals out of it. Plus, eating with one hand is harder than you’d think.

After about 10 minutes of eating in silence, the conversation takes a more serious turn. “Did you ever call that person Dr. Picani recommended?” Roman asks. Virgil shakes his head. “Why not?” Virgil takes a minute to finish his bite before replying.

“Because I can't afford it and sharing my ‘problems’ with a stranger isn’t gonna help anything.” He actually puts air quotes around the word “problems”. 

“I had a therapist and I found it really helpful,” Roman replies. Virgil looks up in surprise. Roman is nervous. He isn't sure he should be sharing this much about himself with the emo, but he wants Virgil to trust him, and the best way to do that is to show he trusts Virgil. 

“What for?” Virgil asks, then stops himself “Nevermind you don’t have to answer that it’s none of my business.”

“No it’s okay, I brought it up” Roman says. He takes a deep breath then continues “I got teased at school for being fat. I never really was fat, but when I got the lead in plays and stuff, people wanted to bring me down, and I let them. I have always enjoyed acting, and I wanted to be good at it. I thought in order to do that I had to be skinnier. I stopped eating. When I ended up in the hospital I was diagnosed with an eating disorder and told to see a therapist. She helped me understand myself. She helped me find another pasion that doesn’t make me feel so bad about myself, medicine. And I still do theatre, but because of her I learned to accept and love myself. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without Logan and Patton either though. They always helped me, keeping me on track and keeping me from falling back into old habits. Seeing a therapist was one of the best decisions of my life.”

Virgil is suprised. He never would have guessed that Roman had struggled that much. Yet somehow Virgil still isn’t sure. Roman had a personality before things went downhill for him. He has a “himself” to find. Virgil isn’t sure there is anything to him other than anxiety and fear and sadness. This is just who he is. “I’ll think about it.” Virgil finally replies.

“Good.” Roman says. “And if you decide to go and need someone to help you out, let me know.”

“Okay” Virgil mumbles

They eat in silence for a little while until Roman is finished with his food.

“Now,” Roman says pushing his empty plate away from him, “you finish up, cause I’m feeling ready to dance.”

Virgil sighs. He is done, he is just gonna take the rest home, but he doesn't know how to dance. 

“I don’t know how to dance” Virgil mutters, nudging his plate away to show he is done. 

“I’ll show you,” Roman says, offering his hand. “Virgil, may I have this dance”

Virgil rolls his eyes and takes Roman’s hand, allowing the prince to lead him to the dance floor, asking Thomas for a box for Virgil on the way. Moments later, Virgil finds himself moving across the dance floor as Roman spins him and dips him, all the while being careful of Virgil’s shoulder. Virgil finds himself grinning and laughing as Roman keeps them moving to the beat of the music like a master. 

After a few songs, Virgil is panting and Roman leads them back to their booth. They sit in silence for a moment, catching their breath. 

“Karaoke?” Roman asks once they are both breathing normally again. 

“Pushin it Princey” Virgil says, “You’re lucky you got me to dance.” Roman sighs but nods. He is surprised Virgil danced, but he is very glad. He got dancing this time, next time he would get karaoke. Plus, it was starting to get late for Virgil, since he had just had surgery. Roman asks Thomas for the check and pays a few minutes later, giving Thomas a large tip like always. Then they leave. 

Roman goes to start the car but Virgil stops him. Roman turns to look at him, confused. Virgil is shaking. “You okay?” Roman asks.

“Yeah” Virgil says in a breathy voice. “I want to do something but I’m scared, like always. Give me a minute.”

Virgil had been thinking about this while they finished eating and decided it would only be fair. Roman opened up to Virgil, and a relationship was about give and take, not just take. Virgil decided he was going to share a story with Roman of one of his scars, because Roman had asked before the surgery. But he is scared. He has never told any of the stories before. He knows exactly which story he is going to tell. He sighs and pulls up his left sleeve with his teeth. Roman looks at him in confusion and concern, but doesn’t say anything. After a moment, Virgil starts talking.

“You asked about the stories here. You told me a story, it is only fair I tell you one.” Virgil takes a deep breath then continues

“You see that black mark on the back of my left forearm?” Roman nods, and Virgil continues “That was the first time I… I…” Roman nods to indicate he knows what Vigil is saying. Virgil continues after taking another shaky breath “It was before my dad became horrible and manipulative. He was in a car accident, he changed after that. They called Remus and told him what happened. Remus had always been horrible. He told me that my dad was in a car accident and told me all these gruesome details that I now realize he probably made up. I was 5.” Roman wipes a tear off Virgil’s face. He hadn’t realized he started crying. “I thought my dad was gonna die and I was gonna be stuck with Remus. I was scared. Remus had told me my dad was burnt so bad it melted half his face. I wanted to know what that felt like. I wanted to see for myself if he was gonna be okay.

“So I took Remus’s lighter that he kept on his bedside table and I tried to melt my skin like what Remus said happened to my dad. That was the first time.”

They sit in the car for a while after that. Virgil crying and Roman comforting him until he stopped shaking. 

“Telling me that was very brave” Roman says quietly, “You are very brave.” Virgil laughs through his sobs and shakes his head. Roman silently vows to keep reminding Virgil of his bravery and worth until he believes it. 

When they pull up to the apartment Virgil has stopped crying but his eyes are still red. Roman waits until Virgil gets out, and Virgil waits until the redness has faded from his face and eyes. When they get in, Virgil heads for the room immediately, but Roman stops him with a hand on his good shoulder. 

Virgil turns and looks at Roman, a mix of fear and hope in his eyes. Roman moves toward the boy slowly, giving him plenty of time to pull away. He doesn't. Roman brings their lips together, putting soft pressure as he feels the warmth of Virgil’s lips against his. Virgil presses against him and puts his good arm around Roman’s neck, closing his eyes. Roman wraps his arms around the thinner boy’s waist, pulling him closer and holding him there for a few moments.

Finally, Virgil breaks away, blushing. “Good night princey” He says quietly, before turning on his heel and briskly walking to the room. Roman watches as the door shuts behind him. 

It takes a few moments before Roman moves, putting away Virgil’s leftovers. He doesn't even notice Logan and Patton watching him from the couch, a giant grin on his face. Finally, Patton can’t hold it in any longer, and he exclaims 

“So CUTE!!”

“Wha-” Roman gasps, turning around and seeing them sitting there. Logan has his arm around Patton and they are watching some animal documentary. Roman sighs. They are so perfect together. “Oh, yeah, you saw that,” Roman says, blushing.

“Yes, we did” Logan says, “I am surprised you have gotten that close to Virgil so fast. He is very closed off and clearly suffers from some sort of anxiety and/or depression.”

“Awwww, look at Logan psychoanalyzing our new buddy,” Patton says, gazing lovingly at Logan “But remember he is a person” Patton says seriously to Logan, “and people have feeeelings.” He boops Logan on the nose as he says ‘feelings’.

“I know love,” Logan says rolling his eyes. “I know.” Logan leans in and gives Patton a kiss, and Patton giggles under the kiss. They press closer together and Roman looks away. As much as he loves his friends' relationship, he doesn't need to see them making out. Roman heads back to his room and changes for bed. He tries to fall asleep, but can’t for another couple hours. He spends that time laying awake, thinking of Virgil and their date, and how much he can’t wait for a second date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm thinking I may post the next chapter later today as I have already edited it, so keep an eye out for that!


	8. Chapter8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, sorry this is so late, I kept sitting down to post it then getting distracted, but here it is!  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Talk of self-harm and suicide attempts, therapy appointment, self-deprecating thoughts

Virgil is in the room. He changed out of his date outfit with some serious struggle but he didn’t want to bother anyone for help. He was now in a pair of Patton’s borrowed pajamas (he had to draw the line somewhere for what they can and can’t buy him) sitting on the bed with a slip of paper in his hand and his phone sitting beside him. It is the referral for a therapist.

Roman was right, it could help. At the very least him trying could help the others. Maybe they won't have to deal with as many of his insignificant problems and worries. 

But maybe it won't help. And also he can’t pay for it, he will go into debt trying. He will get a job but with school he is not going to be able to earn enough to sustain his life and see a therapist.

Virgil sighs and lays back on the bed, paper still in hand. 

Maybe it is worth it though. Maybe this therapist can help him become a person separate from his fear and sadness. Maybe this person can help him become someone other than D or Remus.

Before he can change his mind, Virgil picks up his phone and dials the number. He waits while it rings. 3 rings in he goes to hang up, changing his mind, when a man answers the phone.

“Hello, this is Dr Emile Picani, how can I help you”

“Hello?” Virgil says hesitantly

“Hi! Who is this?”

“Virgil. I was given a referral from Dr Valarie Picani.”

“Well it is great to be hearing from you Virgil. Are you interested in scheduling an appointment?”

“I dunno” Virgil mutters, second guessing his decisions “How much is it?”

“Whatever you can pay” Normally appointments are $75 per hour, but Emile makes exceptions. He cares more about people’s health and safety than his money. He has enough full paying patients to live a perfectly comfortable life, he doesn't need to make people pay if they can’t.

“I can’t pay anything”

“That is okay. Come on in anyways.”

“Okay…” Virgil says hesitantly, his main worry subdued, “when?”

“Can you do Thursday at 11?”

Virgil checks his phone. Today is Wednesday, so that would be tomorrow. School starts Monday, so might as well get the first appointment over with before then. “Yeah” Virgil says, “see you tomorrow.” He hangs up before he can hear the response. He is gonna have to ask Roman to drive him because he can’t drive and he doesn't know the area well enough to ride the bus. He will deal with that in the morning. For now he is tired and his shoulder hurts. For now he sleeps.

The next morning Virgil wakes up at 9:30 with a groan. He rolls over to go back to sleep, but then remembers his appointment and jumps out of bed. He groggily walks into the kitchen where Patton is already making breakfast. 

“Hey Kiddo, what has you up so early?” Virgil just grunts and Patton hands him his black coffee. Virgil takes a grateful sip then continues sipping for a few minutes before replying.

“I have an appointment. I’ve gotta get Roman to give me a ride.”

“Well Roman is out walking through his schedule with Logan right now. Logan is making all of us do it. But he should be back in about half an hour.” 

Virgil grunts in response, glancing at the clock. 9:45. If Roman is back in half an hour that will be plenty of time to get to his appointment.

Virgil sets down his finished cup of coffee and goes to get dressed.

“Don’t you dare,” Patton stops him by saying “You know you are supposed to be being careful with that shoulder. Give me a sec and I'll help you with your shirt.”

Virgil sighs but obeys, not wanting to see angry Patton dad. He saw him the day after the ER visit when Virgil refused to wear his brace. It was scary.

After Patton helps Virgil, Virgil uses the rest of the time to get his physical therapy out of the way. It wasn’t his best plan though, as by the time Roman and Logan get back at about 10:20 Virgil is sore and tired, making for a not very pleasant Virgil.

“Princey,” Virgil snaps when they walk in. Roman looks up in surprise, “I need a ride, come on.” Virgil starts heading out the door without waiting for a reply.

Roman shows up by the car, very confused, about 5 minutes later. “Where are we going exactly?” Roman asks.

“This address,” Virgil mutters, handing Roman his phone with the screen up where he googled the address. When Roman sees where they are going he grins

“You decided to take my advice huh?” Roman teases.

“Whatever,” Virgil groans, shifting to rest his feet on the dashboard while Roman drives “I just did my PT so shut up before I kill you.”

Roman shuts up. If he has learned anything these past few days since Virgils surgery it is to leave him alone after doing his PT. Also, he has learned to leave him alone in the mornings. Roman has been hissed at before. It is not an experience he wants to repeat.

About half an hour later they pull up in front of a small one story stone building. Roman parks and they head in. There is a front desk and some seats, along with a minifridge of free drinks. They tell the front desk lady what the appointment is then sit down to wait.

“Do you want me to come in or just wait?” Roman asks.

“Can you wait?” Virgil says nervously.

“Absolutely. Whatever you want.”

“Actually, maybe… I dunno… I might change my mind?” Virgil says nervously

“And I will be right here if you do.” Roman replies, making a show of getting comfortable in his seat. Virgil smiles a little.

“Thanks Princey.” He says.

Just then the door by the front desk opens and a short chubby man with curly brown hair comes through. “Virgil Storm” He says. Virgil gets up slowly and the man’s face breaks into a huge grin “Why hello, nice to meet you!” He shakes Virgil’s hand. “And who do you have with you today?”

“This is Roman” Virgil says. He doesn't elaborate. He doesn't really know what they are, and until he does he doesnt want to say the wrong thing.

“Why hello Roman” Emile says, shaking his hand as well, “And will Roman be joining us today?”

“No, I'll stay out-” Roman starts before Virgil cuts him off.

“He will,” Virgil says quickly, suddenly scared of talking to this stranger and needing something comforting.

“Great!” Emile says, “Follow me”

He leads them down an empty hall to a small room. There is a couch and a chair, along with some art supplies and games. It looks comfortable.

Virgil stands suspiciously as Roman settles on the couch and Emile in the chair across from him.

“You can sit down Virgil,” Emile says. Virgil looks at Roman who pats the spot next to him, and Virgil sits down, still tense and ready to bolt at any moment.

“So Virgil. Because this is your first appointment we have to start with a few basic questions. They will all be yes or no, so if you don't want to talk that is okay.” Emile says. “Lets begin. Have you ever seen a therapist before?”

Virgil shakes his head no. He doesn’t think he can speak.

“Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental disorder?”

No

“Have you ever been in any sort of abusive relationship. Any relationship counts, family, friends, romantic, etc”

Yes 

“Have you experienced thoughts of self harm?”

Yes 

“Have you ever acted on these thoughts?”

Yes 

“Have you ever had thoughts of killing yourself, or thinking you would be better off dead?”

Yes, might as well be honest if this guy is giving him a free appointment.

“Have you ever attempted to kill yourself?”

Virgil hesitates, then shakes his head. He has done things that may count… but there were always other reasons as well as wanting to die.

“Are you sure?” Emile asks, noticing the boy’s hesitation “Any self harm with the thought of wanting this harm to kill you counts as attempted suicide in my book, even if it wasn’t the main objective. I take these things very seriously. So, have you ever attempted to kill yourself?”

“Once” 

“I know I said only yes or no questions, but can you elaborate?”

“I came out to my dad and he convinced me I wasn’t gay and got mad at me for thinking I was. I tried to kill myself that night, although I was thinking any harm would do, but the wish to die was there. Remus found me and thought it was a great opportunity to try ‘sewing skin’. That is the only reason I’m alive.”

“Thank you for the honesty Virgil,” Emile says, writing something in his notebook. “Those are all the questions I have to ask you, so now I would like to know, why did you come here?”

Virgil thinks about that. Yes, because Roman convinced him, but also because he is scared. He is scared he isn't a person underneath all this brokenness. He is scared of becoming D or Remus. And he needs to know if he is a person, and who that person is.

Virgil doesn't say anything, instead deciding to fiddle intensely with his hoodie sleeves. 

“Hey V,” Roman says, “I know it is hard. But Emile can't help unless you say something.”

Virgil sighs and sits in silence for another moment. Finally he takes a deep breath and blurts everything else out in a breath, “I’m a broken scared sad person, and I don't know if there is a person under all this brokenness. I want to know if there is and if there is a person there, is it like Remus or D? I really don't want to be them..” Virgil trails off, tears on his cheeks.

“Who are Remus and D?” Emile asks. Virgil doesn't reply, so Roman explains

“D is his dad. He got in a car accident and was very manipulative. Remus was the roommate who liked to use Virgil for interesting, dangerous experiments.”

“Well Virgil, I don't know who you are as a person, and you may not know that yet either and that is okay. But this fear of becoming these people, this right here shows me that you are not and will not become D and Remus.”

Virgil glances up from between his fingers “Really?” he asks weakly. He wants so badly to believe it. Hearing it from a professional does make it more believable, though it doesn't erase the fear. It helps.

“Really” Emile says.

The rest of the session they talk some about Virgil's past but a lot about who he is now, some defining features, things he likes, etc. Emile diagnoses him with anxiety and depression, and he adds PTSD to that list when he hears about Virgil’s nightmares and fear of sudden movements. When they leave, Virgil feels like he can breathe a little easier than when he came in.

“Same time next week?” Emile asks

“Okay” Virgil says. He starts to walk out the door before stopping himself and turning to look at Emile “thanks,” He says, before following Roman to the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things start going downhill again soon >:)  
> thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst is back  
> Trigger warnings:  
> anxiety, car accident, description of injuries

The rest of the week goes by in a blur of school prep and physical therapy. By the time school actually starts, Virgil was almost so prepared that he wasn't anxious. Almost.

Virgil woke that day to an alarm. He yelled and held up his pillow as protection muttering “please not today please I need a break,” before realizing it is just the alarm. Virgil tries to laugh it off but can’t quite shake the uneasiness. It is the first day of school.

Virgil gets dressed in his classic purple t-shirt, patch hoodie and black jeans, throwing on his boots to make him feel a little more confident. He looks in the mirror, decides the boots draw too much attention, and throws on his worn tennis shoes. Perfect. The sling still draws attention, but he will be able to stop wearing that next week, and then he can blend in like any other college student.

Virgil heads out to the kitchen where Patton has made pancakes (or in his words “Pattoncakes”) and Virgil eats them without a word. His first class is at 11, but he doesn't have that class on Thursdays so it won't get in the way of therapy. The first class is calculus. 

After eating Virgil makes the short walk to campus, not wanting to draw any unnecessary attention to himself. He gets to his class and is paralyzed.

The lecture hall is huge, filled with chatting students and loud and…

Deep breaths Virgil. You got this. 

Virgil takes a seat in the back corner where he is not likely to be seen and settles in. After getting over the initial hurtle of getting into the classroom, the rest of the day goes pretty smoothly. He loves all his classes, although some look pretty hard and he is worried about that, and aside from a couple questions about his arm, he doesn't have to talk to anyone. It is perfect. College is great.

There is discussion of peer review in some classes, but they do that in writing, so Virgil doesn't actually have to have a discussion. 

Virgil tells all of this to Emile on Thursday, and Emile is happy for him. He does walk Virgil through some exercises to help him when he inevitably does have to socialize. And when he is called on in class, they do help (although he did then leave class early to have a panic attack in the bathroom. But Roman found him and calmed him down).

Overall, the first year of college went really well. With Logan’s help Virgil got good grades in all his classes, and his art even got shown in an art show (To everyone's excitement except Virgil, but Emile helped Virgil with that too).

Virgil’s panic attacks were becoming fewer and fewer, and everything was absolutely perfect. Roman was officially his boyfriend too! It was too good to be true.

The week after finals, Roman barges into Virgil’s room (yes, it is his room now. He got a job and got the money to decorate it. Black walls, galaxy bedding, small soft purple rug). “We passed all our final’s and we are gonna celebrate!” Roman announces

“We haven't gotten the grades back yet Roman, don’t jinx it.”

“Yeah well I’m not jinxing it if I know it’s true,” Roman says handing Virgil his phone, “Grades are up.”

“Shit,” Virgil says, hands shaking as he opens his phone. Logan is paying for his college, he has to make it count. Roman grabs Virgil’s available hand and squeezes it for support as Virgil opens his grades. “I…” Virgil starts, “I passed!!!” He exclaims. “I passed Roman I passed!” 

“I knew you would,” Roman replies, giving Virgil a kiss, “And we are going to celebrate. Because pre-med and engineering majors aren't easy.”

“True. How are we gonna celebrate?” Virgil asks

“It is a surprise,” Roman says with a mischievous grin. Virgil rolls his eyes. He has been with Roman long enough to know that he is good at surprises, so Virgil isn’t too worried.

“Whatever. What should I wear?”

“Whatever you want. Just pack an overnight bag, we will be gone for two nights.”

“O-okay…” Virgil says, now starting to get nervous. Does Roman expect something to happen? Does he want sex? Because Virgil isn’t sure he is ready for that…

“Calm the worries V,” Roman says, seeing Virgil’s expression change “No expectations, just fun.” Roman gets up to leave before realizing something and turning around “Also, pack a swimsuit. We will leave tomorrow morning.”

“Okay Princey” Virgil replies. Great, now he has to get Patton to bring him to the store to buy a swimsuit. Virgil is working on learning to drive, he really is, but the idea of hurtling at high speeds in a large metal case that he is controlling is, well, not his favorite idea. And Emile says it isn't a priority and the others don’t mind driving him around, so there is no rush. 

“Pattoooon” Virgil yells, not wanting to get up

“Yeah Kiddo?” Patton says, coming in almost immediately. Virgil swears Patton can teleport.

“I need a ride to go get a swimsuit tonight.”

“Okay, give me 5 minutes and we can head to the mall.” Patton says as he heads out of the room to finish up whatever he had been doing before.

That night Patton and Virgil return with black swim trunks and a black swim shirt. It wasn’t great, they tried on a lot of really fun ones, but Virgil just didn’t feel comfortable in them, and would rather one that was more simple, so that is what they went with.

Virgil heads to his room and packs a duffle bag with two outfits, a pair of pajamas, toothbrush and hairbrush and deodorant, along with his new swim suit, before going to bed. Whatever Roman has planned, Virgil is very nervous. He trusts Roman, but sometimes he goes a little overboard. Virgil pushes that thought aside, instead focusing on the present like Emile had taught him. In this mindset, Virgil finds himself able to slip into sleep.

The next morning he is woken too early to Roman pounding on his door. 

“Wake up Virgil, we are leaving in half an hour!” Roman shouts through the door. He had learned his lesson when he tried to shake Virgil awake one day when they were going to be late for an appointment and Virgil had punched him in the face before he was even fully awake. Roman stays on the other side of the door when waking Virgil up now.

“Uhhhhhh” Virgil groans loudly

“I have your coffee ready” Roman adds, knowing that is the only thing that will get Virgil out of bed.

Virgil groans and rolls out of bed, throwing on the closest outfit and heading to the kitchen for coffee. Roman does not speak to Virgil until he is on his second cup of coffee. 

“It is a bit of a drive away, about 2 hours, so you can sleep in the car,” Roman says. Virgil nods. Words aren't his strong suit regularly, but when he has just woken up there are no words in Virgil’s vocabulary, just sound. 

“Ready to go?” Roman asks after filling Virgil’s coffee cup for the third time. Virgil grunts, but gets up, grabs his bag, and heads for the door. Roman chuckles, Virgil is so cute in the mornings, even if he is a little scary. 

Virgil and Roman are about an hour into the drive to Roman’s “surprise” and Virgil is actually awake now, and there is a problem, the radio has no good music on. 

“Could you get us some better music V,” Roman begs “This is destroying my eardrums”

Virgil rolls his eyes and chuckles “Sure princey.” Virgil opens the glove compartment and goes through the CD’s, “All you have here is Disney. Where is Sweeny Todd?” Virgil looks out the window and sees the clear road, “I’m gonna check the back.” He says as he takes off his seatbelt and finds the CD on the floor. “Ha, found it!”

Virgil slides in the CD and hits play before turning to put back on his seatbelt. “Uhg, the stupid thing is stuck again. You have got to get this fixed Roman.”

“Yeah yeah I know,” Roman mutters. He notices he is speeding a little and knows how anxious that will make Virgil if he notices, so he switches his foot to lightly press the brake and… and nothing happens. Shit.

“Virgil, put your seatbelt back on” Roman says. Virgil notices how tense he has gotten and continues trying to get the seatbelt to get to the latch.

“I’m working on it Ro,” Virgil says. Roman nods tensely and Virgil starts panicking. “Roman, what is wrong.”

“Just get your seatbelt on.” Roman replies.

Virgil turns to get a better angle, pulling at the belt trying to get it uncaught from whatever it is caught on. He hears Roman gasp.

“Virgil,” he says quickly, “The brake is not working and there is stopped traffic up here on the freeway. Either get your seatbelt on now or brace yourself!” Roman hits the horn hard as a warning and slams on the brakes, but he is right, they are not working. Virgil doesn't know what to do so he just keeps pulling at the seatbelt as hard as he can. He should have taken Roman’s advice and just braced himself.

The impact comes before Virgil is ready. Roman plants his feet and tries to keep his chest from hitting the steering wheel but the force is too much. He slams forward, and hits the airbags. Thank gods for those. 

Virgil is not so lucky. Not ready and panicking without a seatbelt, Virgil is thrown out the windshield with a deafening crash. He is jerked from his twisted position suddenly, as he lands on the hood of the car and his head slams onto the metal. The only thing keeping him from flying farther is his foot, caught on the open glove box where Virgil had been going through the music earlier.

Roman gets out of the car in a panic, running over to where Virgil is, adrenaline keeping him from feeling the pain of his concussion and broken ribs. When he sees Virgil’s eyes are open he sighs in relief, but that relief is short lived.

“Roman” Virgil murmurs. He coughs, blood coming out of his mouth. Virgil knows enough from helping Roman study that knowing symptoms is good, so he says as much as he can before he passes out “I can’t feel my left leg and my head hurts. It is also really hard to breath,” Virgil murmurs, his breath hitching. Virgil’s eyes flutter shut.

Roman calls 911 while checking out Virgil’s leg. He doesn’t think he can look at Virgil’s head or chest. Those are too fatal for Roman to be able to keep a clear head while working on them.

Virgil’s left ankle is clearly broken and there is a large gash from his thigh to ankle where his leg was dragged against the glass. The right one has some cuts and bruises, but with the angle Vigil had been at, the damage to it is not as severe. Roman sets to work on a tourniquet around Virgil’s upper leg to try and stop the bleeding. The lack of feeling does indicate nerve damage though, and the leg may not be salvageable. Roman’s main concern is keeping his boyfriend from bleeding out.

Roman has just finished the tourniquet when the ambulance arrives. They put Virgil in the back and try to put Roman on another stretcher, but he refuses. They allow him to ride back with Virgil as long as he promises to let them check him out when they get to the hospital.

“The brakes stopped working…” Roman explains. “Virgil was awake after the accident for a minute. He said his head hurt and he couldn’t feel his left leg. He also said he was having troubles breathing…” Roman lets out a shaky sob then forces himself to continue “I put a tourniquet to stop the bleeding. I didn’t know what else to do..”

They get Virgil hooked up to the machines in the ambulance. His heart stops once on the way there but they get it back going. When they get to the hospital Roman is separated from Virgil, forced to tend to his own injuries before he can rejoin his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> told you the happiness wouldn't last forever.  
> Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter guys! Hope you like it! I will post the last chapter tomorrow, and if you are interested in a part 2 let me know!  
> Trigger warning:  
> car accident, hospital, description of injuries, depression, self-deprecating thought.  
> as always let me know if I missed anything!

Roman gets patched up from his 3 broken ribs and a mild concussion along with some stitches before he is allowed to go check on Virgil. When he finds them, he gets the update:

“A broken rib punctured his lung which is why he was having trouble breathing. There is also some internal bleeding but all vital organs are salvageable. There is some bleeding in his brain near his speech center. We have to stop it but there is high risk that he could lose the ability to speak. He has extensive nerve damage in the left leg, along with some damage to the bone itself. Overall, the damage to the left leg is too severe, and it will have to be amputated.”

Roman sobs and asks to see him, and the doctor allows it. Virgil is asleep and even more pale than normal. He is hooked up to many machines keeping him alive. Roman’s ears start falling faster. Roman takes Virgil’s hand and holds it tight. “You are gonna go into pretty major surgery, and your life is gonna change a lot.” Roman takes a deep breath, “But I will stand by you the whole time. We are in this together, just make it through today and we can do anything. I love you.”

They take Virgil off to surgery, and Roman is left to wait, so that is what he does. Patton and Logan arrive at some point and hold his hands, but Roman barely registers them. He barely registers anything until the doctor comes back out.

“We were able to stop the brain bleed successfully with minimal damage. We won’t know the side effects until he wakes up. We patched up his lung and stopped the other internal bleeding. We are about to do the amputation. It should take about 2 more hours, and then you are free to see him. We are optimistic that he will survive this.”

“We were not here earlier, so would you elaborate on the potential side effects from the brain bleed?” Logan asks

“The bleed was in the center of the brain that controls speech, so there's a chance that he may lose his ability to speak.”

“Thank you,” Logan says, “Now go save our friend.” The doctor nods solemnly and leaves. 

“Roman what happened?” Logan asks.

“Th-the b-brakes stopped wo-working.” Roman stutters.

“Why did Virgil not have his safety belt on. He always does.”

“H-he took it o-off to fi-find th-the music w-we w-w-wanted. It g-got caught and w-wouldn’t g-go back o-on.”

Logan nods, “It will be okay Roman. Virgil will survive.”

“But will he?” Roman bursts “He has been through so so much and now this! His body may survive, but will he?”

“He will Roman” Patton says, rubbing his back. Roman sobs as Patton says “You always talk about how brave he is. He is brave and strong enough to withstand this. It will be okay.”

A little over two hours later the doctor comes back out, saying Virgil’s surgery is complete. “He should be able to walk again with a prosthetic once he is healed.” The doctor says, but Roman isn’t listening, he is looking at the boy laying on the bed behind the doctor. He looks so pale and small. 

They bring them all to a room and hook Virgil up to a bunch of machines. They say it might be a day or two before he wakes up, then they leave Patton, Logan and Roman alone with Virgil.

“He is gonna be so mad at me” Roman mutters “this is my fault. I was the one that wanted to do this stupid suprise, and if I had just fixed the seatbelts earlier..”

“This is not your fault Roman” Logan interrupts, “If Virgil is going to be mad at you for anything it is going to be you blaming yourself. You did not choose to have the brakes fail, and it is not your fault that the seat belt jammed at that moment. And if the breaks hadn’t broken at that time then they likely would have at a later time. You cannot blame yourself.”

“I guess” Roman says, “I just need him to be okay” Roman sobs, holding Virgil’s hand tightly.

“And he will be.” Patton says, “You just gotta trust him. He doesn't want to leave you kiddo. He will come back to you.”

Roman nods, but doesn't move from his position beside Virgil, holding Virgil’s hand. He spends that night at the hospital, wanting to be there when Virgil wakes up. People bring him food but he doesn't eat it. He can’t eat it.

Finally, 2 days after the accident, Virgil wakes up. Roman doesn’t notice it at first, but then Virgil makes a sound,

“Ro-ommmm” Virgil says

“Virgil!” Roman says, “Oh my gods I am So Sorry this is all my fault oh are you in pain do you need anything-” Roman is cut off by a choking sound in Virgil’s throat. He goes to call a doctor in a panic before he realizes Virgil is crying.

“Virgil are you okay?” Roman asks, he knows it is a stupid question and regrets it the moment he asks, instead switching to “What’s wrong?”

“I ca-an n-no ta-a,” Virgil chokes out, struggling to form the words. Fear strikes him. Why can’t he talk? What happened?

“You can’t talk?” Roman asks. Virgil gives him a terrified look and Roman knows the answer is yes. Roman calls for a doctor before coming back to Virgil’s side.

“It will be okay Virgil, it will all be okay…”

The doctors do a checkup and determine that the damage to Virgil’s speech is not extreme as he can still form short words, and he should be able to speak fine again after some therapy. 

Virgil can move his toes on his remaining leg, which is a very good sign, but he has troubles moving any larger joints. The doctor’s say this weakness is to be expected after injuries to that extent, and they want to get him into physical therapy as soon as possible.

They sit Virgil up and give him a large pen that he can grip and a notepad so he can still communicate. Once the doctors leave, Virgil starts writing.

“It was not your fault. Also, where were we going?”

Roman chuckles. Of course he wants to know what the surprise was gonna be. “I rented us a cabin with a pool to stay in” Roman explained “I thought it would be nice to have some one on one time, and I thought I could teach you to swim.”

“Sounds nice. We should do that sometime”

Roman chuckles again “yeah, when we are out of here we will get a working car and go to that cabin and have a great time”

“Yea” Virgil says with a smile, sticking to his small words “We will.”

Virgil’s optimism only lasts so long though. After three weeks of recovery and Virgil still can’t say Roman’s name, he finally snaps. He can't yell at people cause he can’t form the words he wants, so every time a doctor tries to come in he hisses at them and refuses to follow their instructions. The only people he lets in are Patton, Logan and Roman, so they start checking things for the doctors. 

The only other person he will let in is the speech therapist. Though he is unbelievably frustrated, he is determined to get a certain phrase learned. He always makes the others leave during his speech therapy.

Finally, during the third week, he does it. He says his friend’s names, and he says the phrase. The three letter phrase that Roman and Virgil had still not said. Virgil is ready to say it now. 

When his friends come back in after his speech therapy, Virgil says the longest sentence they have heard from him since the accident “no patton, no logan, yes roman” Virgil says.

“Ooooh kiddo you can say your names!” Patton exclaims

“Yep!” Virgil says with a grin, then his expression changes to more serious. He points at Patton and Logan “you two go.”

Confused, they leave, leaving Roman and Virgil alone. “Virgil, what's going on-” Roman starts before Virgil cuts him off with a shush. Roman watches as Virgil goes through a few of his mouth exercises, preparing to say something.

Virgil has to get this right. This is so important, he has to get it right. He takes a deep breath.

“I love you Roman” Virgil says. He says it clearly and fully. He did it. Virgil grins as Roman’s eyes widen. 

“I love you too Virgil” Roman replies, tears in his eyes, “I love you so much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I am so excited for everyone to read the final chapter that I will post tomorrow. Please let me know if you are interested in a part two. I also have another Virgil centric fic in the making, although I am not sure if it is going anywhere, it is a high school au with powers and LAMP. If you are interested in that, a sequel, or both, let me know and I will get to work!  
> Thanks again for reading, I appreciate all of you!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter here we go!!!  
> Trigger warnings:  
> Hospital, surgery, self deprecating thoughts, depression, anxiety

After that exchange Virgil is filled with more determination once more. He has to get better, for Roman. And finally, after 5 weeks, the day comes where his remaining leg can take his weight and he can stand.

Virgil can mostly talk at this point, so when Roman comes back with drinks Virgil is able to say “Look Princey, I stand!”

When Roman sees he bursts into tears, “Oh my gods you are!” He exclaims “I am so proud of you Virgil!”

“We actually believe he is ready to go home once we fit him for a prosthetic” The doctor says from the doorway. Virgil’s eyes widen in fear, which Roman notices but doesn't acknowledge. This is a good thing, and maybe if he is happy Virgil will be too.

“This is amazing Virgil! We get to go home!” He wraps Virgil in a hug before guiding him back to his bed and leaving while the doctors fit his leg. 

“Hey Roman” The doctor calls after him as he heads down the hall to call Logan and Patton and share the good news.

“Yeah” Roman replies, turning around.

“I just wanted to talk to you about a few of our concerns before you go.” The doctor says. “We are a little concerned about Virgil’s mental state. All of this can take a huge mental toll, especially in someone with his mental health history. I am concerned that once he leaves this hospital some heightened anxiety and PTSD may present themselves. Just keep an eye on that and make sure he keeps seeing his therapist, okay?”

“Okay,” Roman says, not surprised. He knows Virgil too well. He clearly isn’t fine. He is sleeping too much and his smiles aren’t reaching his eyes. His laughs are forced and Roman saw the fear in his eyes when the doctor mentioned leaving. He isn’t stupid. But this is still good news, so he has to call Patton and Logan. He will get back to his project for Virgil later.

The next day, Roman is wheeling Virgil out of the hospital to the car. When they get in sight of the new car, Virgil grabs the wheels, stopping them from moving. Roman notices he is shaking.

“What’s wrong V?” Roman asks

“I can't do it.” Virgil said, his voice shaky “In my head I could” Virgil says instead of saying thought. He still can’t say bigger words “But I can't.”

“Can't what?” Roman asks, although he has a feeling he knows.

“Get in the car.” Virgil says, confirming Roman’s suspicions. 

“Well…” Roman says “It is a new car. It is perfectly safe.”

Virgil sighs nodding and starts murmuring to himself “car works car works car works” over and over under his breath. Roman gets Virgil all settled in the car then gets into the driver's seat. He looks at Virgil who is still muttering and now has his eyes closed. Roman sighs. He wants to help, but he doesn't know how yet. But he has a plan.

They pull up to the apartment 15 minutes later, but Virgil doesn't relax until he is out of the car. It isn’t until then that Roman notices the tears on his face and marks from his nails on his hands. “I’m sorry” Roman says “I wouldn't have made you get in the car if I didn’t have to.” Virgil just nods.

When they get into the apartment Virgil goes straight to his room, closing the door behind him, not saying a word.

Virgil locks the door behind him, making sure no one can follow before he breaks down. He cries and cries and cries. He has been staying optimistic and strong when Roman is around, but in reality he is falling apart. He had just begun to love his life and then this happens. He is turning 19 next week (he hasn’t told anyone) And somehow he has gone from homeless at 18 to legless at 19. Virgil knows he is ignoring so many positives, but right now he doesn't have the energy to look at those. He just needs time to be upset by the negatives. 

After about an hour he hears a knock on the door and Patton’s voice “Dinner is ready kiddo.”

Virgil takes a moment to make himself look presentable, then wheels over to the dinner table. He notices his seat isn't there to make space for the wheelchair. This makes him want to cry but instead he says “Thanks guys.” as he starts to eat.

The next few days go similarly, as Virgil’s mental state continues to go downhill. He can’t sleep because of nightmares, and he has been having at least one panic attack a day. The others hear him and keep coming to check in, but he doesn’t let them in. When his birthday finally comes around he is woken up by a knock at the door. It is noon. Virgil has been sleeping in a lot recently. He tries to ignore it but the knock is persistent. He gives in and gets into his wheelchair with some difficulty. He wheels over to see Logan at the door with a small gift bag.

“I saw on your medical records that today is your birthday. I did not tell the others, I figured you would if you wanted to, but I got you a gift, and wanted to offer to help you with your physical therapy if you’d like.”

Virgil almost closes the door in his face, like he has been doing with the others, then decides against it, letting Logan in and closing the door behind him.

“I’m one nine and I can't walk,” Virgil states. He still can't get the word 19, but he is working on it, even if he gave up on his physical therapy a while ago (not that the others know that)

“I figured something like that was going on,” Logan says, “but based on your recovery so far, if you start practicing with your prosthetic you could be taking steps in the next few days.”

“But I don't want a fake leg, I want my leg!” Virgil cries. Logan raises his eyebrows at him. “Sorry,” Virgil says.

“It is alright,” Logan says, “I just want to help. Here, take your gift.”

Virgil opens it hesitantly and pulls out a block with different buttons and switches on it. “What is this?” he asks.

“It is a fidget cube,” Logan explains “I notice you often fidget when you are anxious. This cube is made for helping to relieve stress through fidgeting. I thought it could be beneficial to you.”

“Thanks Logan,” Virgil says, “It’s great.”

“Another thing that would benefit you is doing your physical therapy” Logan adds, ruining the moment. 

“Look, Logan, I know you want to help but I really don't think that- wait, what are you doing?” Virgil cries as Logan locks Virgil’s wheels and pulls Virgil up.

“I am helping you,” Logan says simply. He has Virgil hold the wheelchair handle to balance while Logan hooks up the prosthetic. Virgil is too shocked to object.

“Okay,” Logan says, “Let go of the wheelchair.”

Virgil sighs and rolls his eyes, figuring the sooner he complies the sooner Logan will leave, and he lets go of the wheelchair, bracing himself for the impact of the floor, but it doesn't come. Instead he feels a pressure on his left thigh where he is putting some weight to balance, and he doesn't fall. Virgil looks at Logan in shock for a moment then laughs. Logan smiles.

“Come here,” Logan says. He has Virgil put his arm around his shoulders and practice the motion to walk with the prosthetic. Virgil has always been a quick learner and has the motion down after about an hour.

“Great job Virgil!” Logan says. “Now you are going to take a step.”

And he does. Virgil takes a step. He is leaning heavily on Logan, but he does it. Virgil is happier in this moment than he has been since the day of the accident. He looks at Logan “Can you help me get to the main room couch?” Virgil asks.

“Absolutely” Logan replies.

Virgil falls twice on the way there, bringing Logan with him, but Logan assures him he is okay and they keep going. When they get to the couch, Virgil is sweaty and exhausted, but when he sees Patton and Roman there he feels the excitement all over again.

“I’m nineteen and I can walk!” Virgil exclaims, then realizes what he said. “nineteen” he murmurs, “nineteen…. I can say nineteen!”

That night they all celebrate with cake while Virgil sits in his wheelchair that Logan brought him. Virgil is annoyed to be sitting in it, it is awkward and makes him feel small and embarrassed and weak, but now at least he knows he can get out of it again.

The next day he has therapy, which means he has to get in the car again. And again, He panics and cries and closes his eyes. He is such a wimp, he tells himself when they get there. 

Once they get in it only takes a minute before Emile calls them back. Virgil doesn’t always bring Roman back with him, but he wants him to hear what they are going to talk about today, about Virgil’s mental health since the accident. Because he needs Roman to help him like Logan did the other day, or else Virgil will never get better. 

“Hello Virgil, it has been a while,” Emile says once they get back into his room.

“Yeah, some stuff happened,” Virgil replies, trying and failing to be light hearted about it.

“I heard. And how have you been feeling with all of this?”

Virgil glances at Roman then looks down at his fidget cube. “Very bad,” Virgil says. Roman looks up in false surprise, letting Virgil think he had done a good job at hiding it.

“Why is that?”

“Cause… cause I was happy for the first time in my life. Then it all blew up in my face. I bring bad stuff to people near me. And also, PT sucks. I feel weak. I can’t walk without help, and then I am so weak I can barely be in a car. I feel weak and I feel guilty. I brought this to everyone.”

“You didn’t do anything!” Roman objects, “no one blames you for this. Just because your past has been bad doesn’t mean that bad things follow you or that you cause them. And it doesn’t mean your future can't be good either.”

“I agree with Roman,” Emile says “You have created this image of yourself where you can only believe the worst things about yourself. When bad things happen to you or others you blame yourself, but when you cause good things you don’t give yourself credit either.”

“ I dunno,” Virgil says.

“Also,” Roman adds, “you are not weak. I have said it before and I will say it again and again until you believe it. You are brave and you are strong. It takes a lot of strength to recover from injuries like this, and look at you. Just yesterday you walked to the main room!”

“I guess,” Virgil mutters.

“It seems like there are a lot of positives here that you are ignoring Virgil,” Emile says.

“You’re probably right,” Virgil replies, “But I am not wired to see the positives. Choosing to see the positives is just one more thing that takes effort right now, every little thing that is supposed to be easy isn't anymore. I am used to this being hard for me. I just don’t have the energy to work on it right now.”

“Well,” Emile says, “It is easier to focus on the positives if there are more to focus on. I think you need to go on that trip with Roman. Take a break from the negatives. Go enjoy a cabin and some one on one time with Roman. Do something fun.”

“That does sound really nice” Virgil admits, “But I don’t think I can be in the car that long.”

Roman smirks. Of course he has been noticing what a hard time Virgil has been having. Even in the hospital he saw it in the strained smiles and the extra naps. He isn’t an idiot. So he put together a new surprise. “We don’t have to go very far.” Roman says.

Virgil raises his eyebrow, but he goes with it. Nothing can be worse than what has already happened to him. “Bye Emile, see you next week.” Virgil says as Roman wheels him out of the office.

They are almost back to the apartment when Roman takes a different turn. Virgil has his eyes closed, but he has memorized the route. They drive straight for a few minutes then Roman turns and parks the car. He helps Virgil out, instructing him to keep his eyes closed. He wheels him up some sort of sidewalk.

“Open your eyes” Roman says.

Virgil opens his eyes and is met with a beautiful sight. It is a small rustic log cabin like house. There is a warm glow coming from within. There is a large beautiful yard filled with trees and flowers. Roman sets something in his hand and he looks at it. It is a key and a slip of paper that says “move in with me”. 

Virgil glances at Roman, tears in his eyes, “Is this ours?”

“Yes” Roman says, “It is close to Patton and Logan, and not too big, but plenty of space to expand if we ever want to. No pool though. And I know it isn't very big, I wanted something bigger but Logan gave me a budget and-”

While Roman was talking Virgil had pulled himself to his foot. He shuts Roman up with a kiss on the lips. ‘“It is perfect,” Virgil whispers. “It’s like we never missed our reservation.” Virgil says. He slips up a little on the word reservation, but he doesn't care. He will get to walk again. He will get to be an engineer and artist. He has friends. He is learning to trust again, and he gets to live with the love of his life. A thought pops into Virgils head, and before questioning the facts that they are too young and still in school and everything, Virgil does it.

Virgil lowers himself into his wheelchair and looks up at Roman. He holds up the new key and says, “Roman Prince, will you marry me?”

“Yes”

It may not be the perfect life, and Virgil may still be discovering himself and learning to love himself, but he is happy, and in that moment, that is all that matters.

  
  


**The End.**

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking with me all the way through! I have started working on a part 2 and hope to start posting for that soon. I also have another fic in the making along with ideas for a third. I hope you guys enjoyed the ride, and I hope you come back for part 2!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed it leave me a comment, I will try to post one chapter a day, I already have the whole thing written. I also have ideas for making a second fic to make this a series (starting just a couple weeks after where this one ends), so if you are interested in that let me know and I will get to writing!


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